“Sing me a song, you’re the piano man / Sing me a song right now”

Ever since Billy Joel wrote those lyrics, America has been crazy about songs — and 2014 was no different. From pop music to rap, from jingles to opera, when we wanted to hear a nice melody coupled with lyrics, we listened to songs.

According to the Songwriters Hall of Fame, “2014 was one of the top five greatest years for songs. There were more than one hundred songs on the radio in 2014.”

So let’s celebrate the best of songwriting! Here are the TOP TEN SONGS OF 2014:

10. Regular songs

9. Pop songs

8. Wonderful songs

7. “Ooh, turn it up! I like this song!”

6. (TIE) Duets / Catchy songs

5. Loud songs

4. Billboard magazine songs

3. Raps

2. Songs that get stuck in your head

1. #1 songs

2014 will forever be known as “The Year Podcasts Were Invented.” Podcasts are like teeny-tiny radio shows you can listen to on your phone, with all the features of classic radio: Music, hosts who talk, and great conversations that leave us wanting more. Some of them even have curse words because it turns out there are no rules with podcasts, America when did we lose our way???

Anyhow, this is the first time I have ever featured podcasts on my year-end lists, and I hope you enjoy! Say — if you really like this list, why not mention it on your podcast? I’ll be sure to tune in and say “Thanks for mentioning my wonderful list!” (Just tell me what your podcast is called so I can download it onto my computer for free, and give me time to find your podcast because there are so many podcasts sometimes it’s hard for me to find a specific one.)

In the meantime, let’s dial up our modem and download the latest episode of … the TOP TEN PODCASTS OF 2014.

10. Pretty good podcasts

9. Interesting podcasts

8. That one podcast with the guy with the funny voice

7. “Did you hear the latest podcast? It’s cool.”

6. Podcasts about pop culture

5. Political podcasts that make you think about the real world

4. Podcasts that are almost as good as radio shows

3. Really long podcasts that give you your money’s worth

2. “Please donate to my podcast so I can keep mumbling about any ol’ bullshit that comes into my mind”

1. The greatest podcasts of all time

There’s no doubt about it: 2014 was the latest year to come down the pike in quite some time.

And what a year it was! Future historians will call 2014 one of the most amazing years we’ve ever lived through.

If you thought 2013 was incredible, well my friend, 2014 must have blown your mind. Everything 2013 had, 2014 had even more of: News events, cultural moments, and even scandals.

And what better way to celebrate this year than with the only lists you need: MY lists, the BEST lists that do the BEST job of summing up the year using LISTS.

Without any further to-do, let’s get started with my lists!

Our first category: NEWSMAKERS. These are the people who made the news what it is — on the headlines, on the nightly news, on the radio, and even on the internet.

Here are THE TOP TEN NEWSMAKERS OF 2014:

10. Classic newsmakers

9. Innovators

8. Headline-grabbers

7. Trendy people

6. People who were in current events

5. Bad boys who play by their own rules

4. Controversial newsmakers

3. Celebrities

2. Politicians

1. “Gotta love those newsmakers”

 

 

WELL, IT’S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN: TIME FOR ME TO WRAP UP MY LISTS. As always, these lists have made us laugh, made us think, and just plain made us more … US. They’ve shown us the best in ourselves; the best in lists; and the best of all time with instant classics that have reignited our passion for lists, and our appreciation of the year gone by: 2013.

And so, like every year, we end with the greatest of all lists — the list that made us fall in love with lists in the first place.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is my great honor (and my deep pleasure) to present the TOP TEN CARS AND TRUCKS OF 2013:

10. Greenish-grey cars

9. Trucks with 450-V-Block engines

8. (TIE) Cars with sunroofs / “I’m gonna let you off with a warning because I like all your bumperstickers”

7. Self-driving cars that know enough to stay in the goddamn garage, America when did we lose our way

6. (THREE-WAY TIE*) Fun cars / Trucks with hay in the back of them / “Heeeenry did you remember to drive the car?” “Yes dear”

5. Shiny cars, fresh from the car wash (Optional #5 for adult readers: “Shiny cars, fresh from the BIKINI car wash”)

4. 360 horsepower trucks with dual 4×4 suspensions

3. Simple, well-made cars

2. (TIE) Some of the best cars and trucks / Transportation

1. “Kid, you gotta be kidding me with how wonderful this car and/or truck is”

(*NEVER BEFORE SEEN IN MY LISTS)

Goodbye, my list-friends! Have a nice year and I’ll see you on the internet in 2014. –David Rees

LET’S NOT BEAT AROUND THE BUSH: 2013 WAS A GREAT YEAR FOR MOLECULES. Leading scientists have admitted that our exploding population has led to a radical increase of molecules that makes them very happy because they all love molecules so much.

Is it any wonder that these tiny building blocks (molecules) were THE topic of science-conversation for most of the year? At all the hottest restaurants and church function halls and NASCAR speedways and slaughterhouses and computer startup companies, when the conversation got real, it got down to molecules. And you can take that to the bank … THE MOLECULE BANK.

In fact, this was one of the hottest jokes of the year among scientists: “Hey guys, didja hear that the latest must-have fashion accessory on Donton Abbey is no longer a monocle, but a molecule?” Mama mia, what a world we live in, and it’s all made out of molecules!

So without any further delay, let’s revisit THE TOP TEN MOLECULES OF 2013:

10. Classic molecules

9. Water molecules

8. (TIE) O-C-O-O-H-C2 / “Dude, I just wanna say I really respect molecules”

7. Molecules that remind us that what unites us is stronger than what divides us

6. Party molecules at the hottest clubs

5. Vegetable and fruit molecules, gotta eat those healthy molecules

4. H-O-H-C3-O-G-O-O-H, the hottest new molecule on the scene

3. (TIE) “The Wolf of Molecule Street” / “The new pope is giving away free molecules!”

2. Atoms

1. Hall of Fame Molecules that make you happy just to see them in your microscope

LAKES AND OCEANS CONTINUED TO POST HUGE GAINS IN 2013. Whether it was news about dying sea life in oceans or boating accidents in lakes, sometimes it felt like you couldn’t go a day without hearing the latest news about lakes and oceans, a.k.a. our watery friends. Compare this to rivers and streams, which barely warranted a mention in the past twelve months. Perhaps 2014 will be for rivers and streams what 2013 was for lakes and oceans? Only time will tell.

In any event, pull on your swimsuit and take a dip into the TOP TEN LAKES AND OCEANS OF 2013:

10. Atlantic Ocean

9. Lake Erie

8. Ocean of red tape (ObamaCare)

7. (TIE) Refreshing lakes and oceans / The bottom of the ocean

6. “Did you hear the latest news about a lake? Turns out it’s ALL WET” (classic lake joke that stole our hearts in 2013)

5. Lakes that drones fly over

4. Pacific Ocean

3. Foreign lakes and oceans

2. Pollution in the waters, America when did we lose our way

1. The coolest lakes and oceans

10. Pasta primavera

9. Penne pasta

8. Ziti spaghetti

7. Whole-wheat spaghetti

6. Nice and tasty spaghetti

5. (TIE) Wonderful spaghetti / Dry spaghetti

4. Sports spaghetti

3. (TIE) Gnocchi spaghetti / Bargain spaghetti

2. Steaming hot and fresh spaghetti

1. “Did you wash the spaghetti?”

FOR SOME OF US, THERE’S NO SWEETER SIGHT THAN A BASKET OF DAY-OLD BAKED GOODS AT THE NEIGHBORHOOD CAFE. Whether you’re a budget-conscious diner who has developed a taste for 75-cent muffins, or a carbo-loader who prefers his scones “rock-hard” just like his abs, or a gourmand who believes “stale bagels just plain taste better and I’ll beat the tar out of anyone who disagrees and mop the floor with their guts,” in 2013 we had many opportunities to partake of “the day-old sweetness.”

In fact, some bakers are privately wondering if 2013 was the best year ever for day-old baked goods. Perhaps it was the economic downturn, or maybe just people’s curiosity about day-old baked goods … but for whatever reason, those in the know are saying 2013 will go down in history as “The Year of The Day-Old” or “The Day-Old Year,” or perhaps simply “Crust Epoch 2013.”

In any event, sink your teeth into the TOP TEN DAY-OLD BAKED GOODS OF 2013:

10. Tasty day-old baked goods

9. Delicious day-old baked goods

8. Muffins wrapped in 500 yards of plastic wrap per muffin

7. Cookies with really tiny raisins like pebbles

6. “Dude you gotta try this scone … you’d never know it’s a day-old scone.”

5. Day-old bagels with fresh cream cheese

4. “I can’t believe these bargain prices for day-old baked goods”

3. (TIE) Day-old baked goods piled high in a basket / “This is the Fort Knox of old muffins, I love this coffee shop”

2. One dollar for a piece of pie

1. Day-old baked goods that are even better than fresh-baked goods

IF THERE’S ONE THING WE LEARNED IN 2013, IT’S THAT 2013 WAS A GREAT YEAR FOR ERGONOMICS. Whether it was a new kind of lumbar support, or the latest biomorphic approach to mattress design, “the Science of Human Posture” (ergonomics) had a great year in 2013 because advances in computing power, conceptual rigor, and industry-wide innovations — not to mention all the other things related to ergonomics!

Is it any wonder that the National Journal of Ergonomics recently published an editorial called “This Wonderful Year of 2013 Was the Best Year for Ergonomics We’ve Ever Seen in Our Lifetimes?” The answer would be no.

So let’s celebrate the best of the Human Body Sciences (ergonomics) with a list that won’t give you carpal tunnel syndrome: THE TOP TEN ERGONOMICS OF 2013!

10. Ergonomics of comfortable office chairs

9. Ergonomics of kitchen counters at the correct height for food preparation

8. “Memory-foam” pillows that look just as good as regular pillows

7. Contemporary ergonomics

6. (TIE) European ergonomics / Posture games

5. Ergonomics that make your day a little more comfortable

4. Ergonomics that make your headaches go away

3. Ergonomics that make you excited to do your job

2. Some of the best ergonomics we’ve ever seen

1. THE #1 BEST ERGONOMICS