Ladies and gentlemen, SHOP IS CLOSED. The lights are dimmed, the floors are mopped, and the wines are all sleeping in their cute little bottles for the night.

As for me? I’m chillin’! (Like that special refrigerator I was talking about, see below.)

My wife is enjoying a glass of “Zweigelt,” whatever the heck that is. She’s saying something about how it’s some kind of red grape from Austria, and I’m like, “Whatever, does it go with cake?”

Seriously, it was really fun running the wine shop. Thanks to all the customers who came in and bought wine.

And thanks to the owners of the wine shop!!! (Not sure if they want to be publicized as associating with good ol’ mnftiu.cc; I’ll find out and if they’re OK with it, I’ll post the store information and you guys can bum-rush it and buy fifty cases of wine.)

Oh, one more thing? To all the people who prank-called the shop today, saying “MERLOT IS FOR GIRLS,” or “CAN YOU RECOMMEND A CHAB-LISS?” and then hanging up? First of all, I’m a Merlot thug for life, I don’t care what you think because you’re obviously IGNORANT about wine. Second of all, PLAYTIME IS OVER. The shop owners are back tomorrow and if people keep burning up their phone line, trying to get one over on ol’ David Rees, I might get in trouble. So please make fun of me on email, not on the phone.

Many thanks to all, and to all a good wine.

Last loaf of my fresh bread is about to pop out of the oven . . . come and get it if you want it . . . wine store livin’ . . .

True life tales of wine . . . we don’t stop . . .

Some friends just stopped by to say “Hello” and “It’s so awesome you guys are running the wine shop.”

They asked if I could recommend a nice bottle of wine.

DONE. Bing – bang – boom.

They walked out with a nice bottle of wine at a good price, and I got to sell my friends some wine.

THAT’S HOW WE DO IT.

True life tales of wine . . . the drama continues . . .

More drama at the wine shop:

A woman just came in and bought some kind of white wine that we had to get out of the refrigerator. I just about lost my mind with excitement! Because when she asked if we had a bottle in the fridge (I think it’s called a “wine chiller,” or “chardonnay cabinet,” or some kind of technical thing, but it’s basically a fancy fridge with a see-though door — which all fridges should have, when you really think about it), I had a little panic attack, like, “If we don’t have this in the fridge will she cuss me and walk out of the store?” so then I went and looked in the fridge and — YES! — we had a bottle of the wine and I was like, “Yes ma’am, I have a bottle right here.”

Holy smokes, I was SO PUMPED at that point I almost said, “You know what? This calls for a celebration. Let’s drink that bottle right now. You don’t even have to pay for it.”

But of course, professionalism comes first . . . courtesy, respect, fine wine . . . they all taste great together.

TRUE LIFE TALES OF WINE . . . the drama continues . . .

Two more hours to go in the shop, and then my wine-selling days are done!

So stop by and let me sell you some wine!

I won’t even make you buy Merlot if you don’t want to . . . I’ll sell you Pinot Noir instead (it’s like a dark, moody Merlot).

Shoot, I’ll even sell you some fine Chardonnay (it’s like a lighter, dryer, Merlot, with more circus elements in it; I think it’s also a different color).

The point is: WINE.

Here’s a “behind-the-scenes” tale to give you a sense of what life is like at the wine shop:

The owners have this thing called “Pandora” which is an internet radio station that automatically plays music you like. And they have all these different stations they customized for their shop: Oldies, String Ensemble, Indie Twee Pop (blecch), etc.

But some of the stations they’ve designed seem like “after hours” stations, like: Would you really listen to your Huey Lewis & The News station during shop hours? Wouldn’t that make your customers think you’re bonkers?

Also, Classic Rock station? Are we really allowed to listen to this station while trying to sell fine wines to a sophisticated clientele?

Well, I just spoke to one of the owners and the answer is: YES!!!

CURRENTLY JAMMING TO ZZ TOP ON PANDORA RADIO WHILE SURROUNDED BY WINE!!! This works for me.

Buy some wine . . . enjoy some classic rock . . .

OH SNAP “SLOW RIDE” JUST CAME ON . . . wine store officially entering “Off The Hook” territory . . . you better come by and get a piece of this . . . I will be pairing Foghat and Merlot ALL NIGHT LONG . . .