This is it, folks: The final best-of list of the year. The is the one you’ve all been waiting for. The argument settler. The industry standard. The reason they hate us. The Nobel Prize winner for “Best List.” The top dog. The Legend of Zelda of lists. The one for the history books.

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s my pleasure to announce …

THE TOP TEN CARS AND TRUCKS OF 2010:

#10: Big trucks

#9: Foreign sedans

#8: Station wagons

#7: Brand-new cars

#6: Vans

#5: Parallel parking

#4: Big bumpers

#3: Fords and Lincoln-Mercuries

#2: Corn guzzlers

#1: Used cars

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And that’s that. Thank you very much for your continued support of LISTS! I have exhausted myself with list-making, so I’m going to the Caribbean for a week. I will look forward to talking to you when I return. Happy New Year from all your friends at mnftiu.cc.

You can’t have a year without controversies — and this year, 2010 was no different. Last year, 2010 actually was different, though. It’s funny how life works. “America, let’s get back on track.”

Here are the TEN BIGGEST CONTROVERSIES OF 2010:

#10: Public controversies

#9: One guy went thisaway but the other guy went thataway

#8: Cultural controversies

#7: Political controversies

#6: He said one thing but she said another thing

#5: Humans vs. animals

#4: Free speech controversies

#3: Computer problems

#2: Ideas vs. reality

#1: “You want it WHEN?”

Let’s face it: 2010 was the Year of the Internet. Some days it seemed like everybody was online: either shopping or writing letters to the computer-editor — or forwarding memes.

Memes are those bits of data that make us smile on the internet and remember what life is all about. Whether it’s “Keyboard Cat” or “Cheeseburger Cat” or “Shit My Cat Says,” a good meme can help you make it through the day, reminding you of the lighter side of the cyber-side of life.

Personally, as a computer expert I spend about 16 hours per day on the internet so I’ve seen every meme there is (except the one about the rabbit with the pancake). When your friend forwards you an internet meme, rest assured I saw it at least two days earlier. You might as well call me “Mister Meme” … and 2010 was no different.

I can say with confidence that this is the definitive list of the TOP TEN INTERNET MEMES OF 2010:

#10. Powerful memes

#9. Ironic memes

#8. Shocking memes

#7. Funny memes

#6. Celebrity memes

#5. Political memes

#4. Youtube

#3. Fresh-baked bread

#2. Bar graphs that explain truly amazing shit

#1. Computer memes

Sometimes, rather than talking for two hours straight trying to explain some esoteric concept, it’s easier just to reach for a simple catchphrase. And 2010 was a great year for catchphrases.

Now, I could spend 50,000 words explaining why this is so, or I could just say: “Love me, love my catchphrases” or “Catchphrase fever in the house!” or “2010: Talk to da catchphrase, mon!” (said in Jamaican accent to suggest marijuana abuse).

Here are the TOP TEN CATCHPHRASES OF 2010:

#10: “That’s not what your mom said”

#9: “My 401(k) took a real beating”

#8: “Amazing game last night, huh”

#7: “Golf … it’s not just for breakfast anymore”

#6: “Oh, why don’t you go fall down a Chilean mine shaft!”

#5: “Penny for your tweets …”

#4: “That’s not what your mom said again”

#3: “I guess it’s all the same in the end”

#2: “I want my country back”

#1: “Yesterday is history and tomorrow is a mystery”

“Knock, knock?”
“Who’s there?”
“Another great list!”
“Another great list? Boy, am I glad to see you!”

From President Obama to sports, sometimes it almost seemed like there were too many things to joke about in 2010. Professional funnymen like Jay Leno and Jimmy Fallon had their hands full with their evening monologues because of all the news stories and items of interest they needed to joke about. But that’s 2010 in a nutshell: The sum total of all events that occurred during it.

Without any further ado, here are the TOP TEN JOKES OF 2010:

#10: What’s Barack Obama’s favorite panel in a Garfield comic? THE DEATH PANEL.

#9: “Ms. Jones, I figured out what was wrong with your toilet — it was clogged. You see, the economy was in it.”

#8: I was going to buy a Wikibathtub, until I heard that it Wikileaks.

#7: “Did you hear about the The Social Network?” “No, but I read about it … on Facebook.”

#6: “Would you like to go to a fun party?” “Sure, what kind of party is it?” “THE TEA PARTY.”

#5: Didja hear the one about the guy who pulled out a magic marker and scribbled all over his iPad? He thought it was a real pad!

#4: Say, didja also hear the one about how George W. Bush beat Barack Obama in a game of basketball? Bush scored more DECISION POINTS.

#3: What do the midterm elections and loud heavy metal music have in common? They both give President Obama a headache.

#2: What did the salad say to the BP oil spill? “Hey, wait a minute, you’re not salad dressing!”

#1: Why didn’t the Chilean miners go to the dirty picture show? Because it said No Minors Allowed (but they thought it was “Miners”).

Most years are great years for American literature, and this year was no different. Whether it was Jonathan Franzen’s latest novel, or that new book about Abraham Lincoln, 2010 saw some amazing achievements on the printed page. No wonder the publishing industry didn’t need any bailouts this year — they were too busy crushing the competition.

Without any further ado, here are the TOP TEN BOOKS OF 2010:

#10. E*books

#9. Hardcover books

#8. Large-print books

#7. Books with photo sections in the middle of them

#6. Paperback books

#5. Table of contents

#4. Coffee table books

#3. Audio books

#2. Cookbooks

#1. Erotic druid novellas in translation

2010 was one of those years where it felt like everyone had an idea. From “Get rich quick,” to “Friend me on Facebook,” to “Mexican popsicles,” the ideas just kept coming and coming.

Let’s face it, sometimes it’s hard to keep up with all the ideas. Fortunately for you, there are people like me. I’m not saying I know the most about ideas, but I do follow a lot of them. What can I say, I just find them fascinating — ideas.

Here are the MOST IMPORTANT IDEAS OF 2010:

#10: Concepts

#9: Theories

#8: Hypotheses about the ways of the world

#7: Counterintuitive provocations

#6: Big ideas

#5: (TIE) Spiritual theories / Human longevity

#4: The politics of our times

#3: “There’s got to be a better way”

#2: Helpful hints

#1: How we live now and what it says about us

Let’s face it: Television has the power to change lives. From Mad Men to American Idol, a good hour of television can make anything better. Sometimes it seems like our friends on TV are just as interesting as our friends in real life! And sometimes the music on a TV show makes you feel like crying, even though it’s just a show about a sick old lady in a hospital. That’s the power of television. The United States of America makes the best television shows in the world, and it’s time to celebrate that fact.

So raise a glass and pass the remote control! Here’s to the BEST TELEVISION SHOWS OF 2010:

#10 The evening news
#9 The sports
#8 The home shopping
#7 The dramas
#6 The sit-coms
#5 The reality shows
#4 The weird stuff
#3 MTV
#2 “Didja hear about what happened on the television?”
#1 The very best stuff

“Donate now for more great programming in 2011”

“Paging Dolce Gabbana! Paging Versace! Paging 2Xist Underwear! This is the list you’ve been waiting for!” From Paris runway shows to New York debut collections, 2010 was all about passion … passion for fashion. Where else could you see the hottest clothes and the latest styles? Only in fashion. And 2010 was another great year for it. For fashion.

More than three hundred designers gave it their best shot in 2010; now it’s time for the final verdict. Ladies and gentlemen, we’re all beautiful. But some of us are the most beautiful. Because of the amazing clothes we wear, including suits made from real wool from a sheep. Here’s the list of the BEST FASHIONS OF 2010:

10. UGGS boots (still crushing the competition; if you disagree go eat an old toilet and die)
9. Oxford shirts
8. Stripes: horizontal, vertical, it doesn’t matter, just sew some stripes on that motherfucker and it’s all good.
7. Wristwatches
6. Women’s fashions
5. Stockings
4. (TIE) Lifestyle fashions / Rubber shoes
3. Men’s fashions
2. V-neck sweaters
1. Hats

Year end fundraiser! Get that money!

Let’s face it: We live in a world that is increasingly defined by technology. Sometimes it seems like you can’t boot up, log on, or download anything these days without running into some form of technology. “Welcome to the future — no need to take off your hat because soon there will be a technology that automatically takes off your hat for you.”

From e-gadgets to i-tools, technology was responsible for some of the most exciting developments of the year … and 2010 was no different.

Without any further ado, here are the TOP TEN TECHNOLOGIES OF 2010:

10. Devices
9. Tools
8. Miscellaneous instruments
7. Machines
6. Inventions
5. Social media
4. Electrical
3. Innovations
2. Game changers
1. Computers (again)

YEAR END FUNDRAISER GIVE IT UP