Ladies and gentlemen of Readingmyblogsville, I am working in the wine store all day today (Sunday) and tomorrow (Monday).

Come get that wine!

Reader AC has a question about pencil-sharpening industrial waste, i.e. pencil shavings:

When I was in 3rd Grade, a group of students somehow decided to regularly compete to see who could make the longest continuous pencil shaving. The would take their soft-lead colored pencils and use their hand-held pencil sharpeners to whittle the entire pencil down, leaving a single, continuous pencil shaving. They, of course, saved these shavings in their pencil boxes, because it’s not like you could ever throw away such masterpieces of Pencil Art.

What do you plan to do with your pencil shavings?

This photo says it all: All shavings are bagged, sealed, labeled, and returned to the owner to dispose of as they wish. After all, shavings are part of the pencil– and it’s YOUR pencil.

Beware pencil-sharpening services that don’t return your shavings! They’re ripping you off!

Paypal link is to your left; send me $15 and I’ll send you a hand-sharpened pencil! Add $20 and I’ll send you an amazing pencil-sharpening promotional print.

Let the media deluge begin … Details goes down in history as the first media outlet to write about artisanal pencil sharpening. Their Pulitzer is in the bag!

1. What’s your artistic process like?

“Some people ask me, ‘Are you going to have an electric sharpener and just shove pencils in it all day, like a factory?’ No. The whole point is that I’m going to have an authentic, honest-to-God encounter with your pencil. I’m not going to be absentminded. I want to get these things fucking sharp as shit. And when you get it back, you’re like, ‘Whoa. It’s actually vaguely menacing how sharp this thing is.'”

Paypal me $15 and I’ll sharpen and ship you a pencil. LET’S GET SHARP

When you’re sharpening pencils to an extreme degree of sharpness, you can’t be too careful.

I received seven pencils in the mail last week. Each will be sharpened and returned to its owner with utmost care.

Meanwhile the web site design process is proceeding with due haste.

Each day brings us closer to the official launch of my pencil-sharpening business!

Whether you’re a LOST fanatic or a LOST hater, you have to admit: Last night’s finale was an amazing end to an amazing show!

To celebrate, here’s my list of the ten most unforgettable moments from the series:

10.) Season 1, Ep. 1:
The series kicks off with a bang!

9. Season 2, Ep. 3
Jack & Juliet: the island romance begins …

8. Season 5, Ep. 4
This episode featured some of the greatest catchphrases: “Give me the whip;” “Have you forgotten the house of pain,” etc.

7. Season 1, Ep. 5
The smoke monster attacks!

6. Season 3, Ep. 8
Locke dances!

5. Season 6, Ep. 13
The island is alive!

4. Season 2, Ep. 92
Hurley rocks!

3. Season 6, Ep. 12
The smoke monster can’t be stopped.

2. Season 7, Ep. 254
Parallel-universe madness!

And the NUMBER ONE moment from LOST:
1. Season 3, Ep. GH-230.001
The “flash-forward” that started it all!

I think I will start offering sharpened pencils to my customers, rather than requiring people to ship their unsharpened pencils to me for sharpening.

The price will remain the same: Only $12.50 per pencil! “How does he do it?”

More info. soon …

I was sitting on a stoop in the East Village last night when three semi-weirdos tumbled out of a yellow cab. My friend ID’d them as “Three As Four,” which is like the hottest design team in all of fashion! ARGGGH why didn’t I have any pencil-samples to give them? I coulda been in their next runway show in Milan or Paris!

My friend said they design “pants and bags” — guys, I LOVE pants!

You thought it was a joke? It’s not a joke.

Hello everyone out there in “Reading-my-blog-sville,” I’m happy to see you this morning.

I have two fun shows coming up:

The first is a benefit for Stephen Baldwin*. It’s on Wednesday, June 2 in Brooklyn, NY. You can read all about it here. Performers include some of the funniest stars currently shining in the comedy sky– including Eugene Mirman, Kristen Schaal, Jon Glaser, and loads of other folks.

The second show is this:

Get out of town, can you believe we pulled this off? Andrea Rosen and Starlee Kine on the same bill in Beacon, NY? “Fuhgeddaboutit.” Andrea Rosen you know from Stella and Flight of the Conchords and every funny commercial on the teevee, and Starlee Kine you know from This American Life, the famous radio programme. This show will be amazing. Time to charter that bus and drive to Beacon! Or you can take the train (we have a train station in town).