By the way, I’m working in the wine shop today … expect many updates … come on by and buy a bottle … fine wine is a great accompaniment to your evening meal … I have both red and white wines available today …

Last night I tuned into the hit series MAD MEN to see what the buzz was about.

Oh my goodness, could this show be more boring? Seriously, this is what everyone’s going ga-ga over? Some lady going to the hospital to have a baby while her husband sits in the waiting room and talks to some random guy? Hello?

Meanwhile, some skinny advertising dude is talking about “White people watch TV like this, but black people watch TV like this.”

Please, this show was more boring than licking a piece of notebook paper while listening to a dial tone.

Oh, wait, I forgot about one scene that was really exciting: Some lady was like, “I want a raise,” and the main guy was like, “I can’t do it, they’re counting paper clips” (seriously!).

FINAL VERDICT: Thumbs down. Please let us never speak of this television program again.

To avoid a quarrel is a setback for sin, for it is a hot temper that kindles quarrels.
A sinner sows trouble between friends and spreads scandal where before there was peace.
A fire is kept hot by stoking and a quarrel by persistence.
A man’s rage is in proportion to his strength, and his anger in proportion to his wealth.
A hasty argument kindles a fire, and a hasty quarrel leads to bloodshed.

Blow on a spark to make it glow, or spit on it to put it out.
Both results come from the one mouth.

–Ecclesiasticus 28:8-12

The Almanac Wars continue … reader JK finally stepped up and filmed his collection, sideways-style.

Very impressive … no audio commentary required … just a cold, hard look at one man’s collection of almanacs.

Can anybody out there top this collection? Bring it.

Can you feel the storm gathering? No, not the storm about gay people marrying … the other storm … the one about statistics and data … the one about “Where was the biggest pumpkin grown last year,” or “What’s the second-longest river in Tallahassee …”

I’m talking about the coming ALMANAC WARS.

Blog reader, internet entrepreneur, and almanac enthusiast JK sends along a video he found. Please wrap your face in aluminum foil before watching, or else when your face melts it’ll drip all over your keyboard and you won’t be able to type without getting melted face on your fingertips, and then people will call you “Mr. Finger-Face,” and when they take your fingerprints they’ll see your melted eyes staring up at them.

Holy shit, does he kill it very hard re: 2008 Almanac? (1:08) “I got it after it came out … about a day after it came out.”

JK notes: “My collection destroys this guy’s, BTW.”

Oh yeah? PROVE IT. Post a video of your collection or STFU. Big dogs only. Poor Richard’s, represent.

You all know how much I love ol’ Matt Taibbi.

I just read one of his all-time great paragraphs — he’s talking about the MSNBC lady who dropped a 10-ton bomb of dumb the other day. Have you seen the video? Here’s the video:

“If Medicare’s so great, why don’t you use it, you 45-year-old man who won’t qualify for another 20 years?” LOL, health policy debate highlight.

Anyway, Taibbi brought the ruckus with this one:

Fuck a fancy boutique drug like Erbitux — I have a very expensive private plan and I can’t even go to a doctor, not even to ask a simple question, unless it’s an emergency. I can’t get a routine checkup, can’t find out what that weird lump in my left foot is, can’t have the pleasure of a routine proctological exam unless I want to pay cash for it, and, well, forget about getting a filling replaced or seeing a therapist to deal with my incipient nervous collapse/burgeoning mid-life crisis. Hell, forget about paying for Erbitux, if I wanted to get a colonoscopy to find out if I needed Erbitux, I wouldn’t be able to — I’d probably have to wait until I was a fully symptomatic cancer patient before I could even have that conversation on my insurer’s dime. And I’m one of the lucky ones, I actually have money to pay for care out of pocket, if I had to. No country in the world rations care more than the U.S. There are whole generations of Americans (20-40 year-olds in particular) who don’t know what it is to be able to go to a doctor for preventive care or routine checkups. Erbitux, for Christ’s sake! Give me a break.

LOL, I love the guy. Hope that lump in your foot goes away, Matt! Lemme know if you want me to organize a prayer vigil for it …

Does anyone know anything about this magazine? Is it good? Worth subscribing to? College hoops will start up soon and I wanna be “in the know.”

Is there anything worse than trying to watch the big game at your local sports bar, and you can’t even hear the TV because some idiot is blasting Vivaldi on the juke box? “Hey everybody, listen to how the violins go dee-dee-do-dee and the trumpets go brawk-brawk-brpppt!”

Arggghh it makes me so angry! The next person who says “harpsichord” is gonna get a fist sandwich in their eye.

My friend and I were watching the Final Four at Bill’s Sports Oasis last year, and we couldn’t follow the game because it was “Gustav Mahler Night” (sponsored by Corona), so they were blasting this angry, intense symphony bullshit at ear-splitting volume! “We get it, Gustav: you couldn’t get laid. Boo-hoo.”

I wish I had thought to bring my (NEAR-MINT) CLASSICAL MUSIC DISRUPTOR/ELIMINATOR! Then, with the mere switch of a button, I could have shut down all classical music (live OR recorded) within 5 miles!

If you hate classical music, you can’t afford to live without this device. Note: This is one of the original, coal-powered models, so make sure you have lots of coal handy, or you won’t be disrupting shit.