Friday Face-Offs: “Chopped N Skrewed” — WINNER!

FORGET ABOUT IT. It’s been a while since a FFO video put everyone on notice as hard as these guys do. LOL, am I loving these guys very much? Reincarnated D. Boon and Mike Watt holding it down very hard? KILLED IT!!!

Have a great weekend.

This is it, last chance to donate to the laptop fund:


Friday Face-Offs: “Chopped N Skrewed” – 2nd Place

Why is it my favorite thing on earth, to watch people get into their music?

From the user’s video description:

“I wasn’t really singing it, more like listening, but…..it’s not like everybody else’s.”


I don’t even know what genre of youtube video this is. It’s kind of a sing-along, but like the guy says, it’s mostly just him listening to the song and getting overwhelmed by how much he loves it (LOL, like at 0:53, he’s really hating it) with words floating around intermittently. Why isn’t this in the Whitney’s permanent collection of awesome videos that Matthew Barney didn’t make? “This is the reallest shit ever, especially the first part.”

Also, do any of the ladies in the comments section to this video want the guy to hit ’em up with his info very much?

By the way, this week’s FRIDAY FACE-OFFS has officially been CHOPPED N SKREWED, because we have a runner-up 2nd place this week:

Yes, that’s a Yamaha DX-7 in FULL EFFECT. With Christmas lights on it to set the mood while he goes off on CHOPPED N SKREWED. (Also, Miami Dolphins jacket, or am I imagining things?)

And because I’m chopping and screwing everything right now, let’s drop another 2nd Place runner-up video:

Yes, that’s a violin in FULL EFFECT. Let’s not even get into the insane blast of bewildered ecstasy I felt when I thought the violinist was MARLO STANFIELD.

FRIDAY FACE-OFFS! Winning video is next!


Friday Face-Offs: “Chopped N Skrewed” – 3rd Place

It was inevitable: Somebody officially meta-chopped and screwed CHOPPED N SKREWED:

This is like two inches away from being a Gregorian chant.

From the comments:

“(I) like the screwed but too much chop-maybe plus 2-3 chops per verse.”

Three chops per verse, are you kidding? You c-c-can’t chop enough, as f-f-far as I’m concerned-erned-erned. If you’re chopping less than 5 ch-ch-ch-ops per verse, I’m going back to my Enya tapes; call me when you chop it like you mean-ean-ean-ean it. The musical genre is called “chopped and screwed,” n-n-not “screwed and every so often, like three times per verse, maybe chopped.”

Come on, g-g-get real. In the words of Dinsoaur Jr, “Start Choppin’.”


Friday Face-Offs: “Chopped N Skrewed” – 4th Place

In the course of researching this week’s FFO, I watched MANY videos of people dancing to CHOPPED N SKREWED. This is my favorite … except for 0:37, where I panic about the fedora.

I also love the graphic wipe at the end, because it makes the whole thing look a promotional video for a new kind of travel agency — AN AWESOME KIND.

“Seriously, what’s the deal with travel agencies? Does anyone still go to these places? With a bunch of posters of Jamaica and Hawaii, and some sad plant in the window and brochures lying all over the place? Seriously, what’s the deal? How can I travel to your agency? Why would I want to take a vacation in your office? Is that the deal? What IS the deal? Anyway, what?”

(Sorry, had to bust out a little Seinfeld routine there; I’m noticing a recrudescence of the Seinfeldian zeigeist in the cultural biosphere as limned by the post-industrial memescape’s gestalt vis a vis Seinfeld and various observational recrudescences. [A reader promised a $50 donation if I could use “recrudescence” in a post more than JMM does here; all I have to say is, “Mission Recrudescence-d,” you’ve officially been CHOPPED N SKREWED.] )


Friday Face-Offs: “Chopped N Skrewed” – 6th Place


All the true FFO-heads know my love for drum covers … just bangin’ away to your favorite song … making the craziest, careening fills … showing off your cymbals … LOVE IT.

Interesting technical note: This guy’s video plays with compositional space like an old Chinese landscape painting. Do you know what I’m talking about? Like, some of those cymbals are probably five miles away in the distance, but they look like they’re all stacked up on top of each other. Cool effect. The depth of field has officially been CHOPPED N SKREWED.

This is the video that made me want to see the Bad Plus do a version of CHOPPED N SKREWED. They could really kill this song.


Friday Face-Offs: “Chopped N Skrewed” – 7th Place

LOL, how did Michel Gondry get those Legos to move so smoothly?

Another mellow version of CHOPPED N SCREWED! What mysterious force compels people to turn this bombastic, computerized bleep-bloop symphony into, basically, the next “Girl From Ipanema?” What, are we gonna hear “Chopped N Skrewed” played on lutes at Cape Cod weddings some day?

Which brings up a question I’ve been wondering about: Do you think anyone has ever eaten brie while listening to “Chopped N Skrewed?” Sometimes I imagine a list of songs that have never been played while someone’s eating brie.



Friday Face-Offs: “Chopped N Skrewed” – 8th Place

Watching this video is a good way to mellow out after watching the original “Chopped N Skrewed” video ten times in a row, where you start to see T-Pain’s head opening up with CGI lions coming out of it everywhere you turn.

To me this sounds like the soundtrack to one of those 1970s melancholy romantic comedies where people spend a lot of time walking on the beach when it’s overcast.

(What’s with being so differential to Ludacris, though? Why not bust out a hard-bop solo over that verse?)



WHAT A WEEK! Tax-baggin’ tea parties; torture memos; and on a personal note I bought a swim cap! And now the weekend is here and it’s time for

Friday Face-Offs!!!

Welcome to the FOURTEENTH INSTALLMENT of an internet legend!

This week’s FRIDAY FACE-OFF is: “Chopped N Skrewed” by T-Pain. Watch the original version here:

What can we say? Great song, great video, great musical genre, and great cynical-co-option-of-said-musical-genre-for-street-cred.

Also, great chorus: “You’ve officially been chopped and screwed.” Ouch, do you get some kind of special plaque? That “officially” ranks as one of the all-time best adverbs in the history of pop music.

First contestant is up next!

FRIDAY FACE-OFFS! You’ve officially been Fridayed and Face-Offed!