“Sarah Palin and the rape kits? Sounds like a punk band. Are they good?”

LOL, remember that classic line from an early GYWO video?

Guess what? SOMEBODY WATCHED THAT VIDEO AND DECIDED TO START A BAND CALLED “SARAH PALIN & THE RAPE KITS.” LOL, we’re living in the internet era, no doubt!!!

This song is called “Lipstick on a Pig.” (It quotes “Umbrella” by Rihanna, which was the inaugural Friday Face-Off, so as far as I’m concerned, these dudes have wiretapped my mind.)

The band’s home page is here.

I think this is my first “internet meme.” Where do I pick up my commemorative t-shirt?

If you want to dig into the data below, use this subset for your calculations:

2395: 2095 / 09348-098
2591: 9995 / 45098-489

n = 936
p-value = .02

Remember: Republicans are the odd numbers; Dems are the even numbers.

I’ve received some emails from Relationshapesheadz (hardcore fans of “Relationshapes”) asking when the RELATIONSHAPES link will be fixed.

We’ll fix it, don’t worry. It’s just that right now I’m overwhelmed with all the polls I’m commissioning and analyzing (some have upwards of fifty numbers per data point, with n = 3 and a p-value of -1, just so you know).

For now, please enjoy this:

Are you kidding me? Those are some of the best shapes I’ve ever drawn. There’s not even a word for the shape on the right. Euclid even in his wildest fantasies couldn’t have imagined a shape like that!!!

As for the shape on the left, what can I say? LOL, attention MIT Shape Laboratory, I’m available for guest lectures and tenure! Just make sure you have lots of Zinfandel at the fancy reception for me, as well as brie and bleu cheese and the finest crackers!!!

BREAKING NEWS MUST CREDIT FLASHING SIRENS (c) 2008 MNFTIU POLLS, INC.

Here it is ladies and gentlemen: The largest poll I’ve ever commissioned. Call it “The Zogby Destroyer.”

I used more than 150 numbers for this poll, and the results are stunning. HOW CAN DEMS NOT WORRY WHEN THEY SEE THIS?

Here’s the baseline:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Nothing fancy, right? Good ol’ “1 thru 10,” we all love it. But watch what happens when we run the numbers . . .

25087409872549278 (KY)
659182734569875t6548659787459072608 (AZ)
95745082778917 (WV)
65487164592487613045 (SC)
786459162 (HI)
54937561 (NY)
93463945871634916548645 (NJ)
95762394587156238 (IL)
7634590178569847 (IA)
61776135876154978364 (OR)
53290786 (GA)
078562495786314 (AL)
598376 (ND)

Am I the only one seeing this?

——————–

AND THEN . . .

25
30
23
102
24
96

WTF, are you kidding me? How will Obama overcome those numbers? How does he deal with a 25 sitting right on top of a 30, with a 23 breathing down its neck, not to mention that 102 sitting atop a fat, disgusting 24, which is doing everything it can do suppress that 96 at the bottom?!?

Stick a fork in the toast, ladies and gentlemen . . . it’s done.

I gave an interview to the great BAT SEGUNDO show in which I accidentally revealed some of the secrets of cartooning . . .

Rees: Well, I trade (profanity) on the gray market. I trade — you know, cap and trade with carbon emissions? They set up the same thing for cartoonists, where you get a given amount of profanity. “Fuck,” “goddam,” “asshole,” “shit,” “cocksucker,” “bitch,” all that stuff. And then if you want to use more, you buy a set on the International Profanity Market. You buy a certain amount from other cartoonists.

Correspondent: They come in 200 units, I think.

Rees: Right. Well, it’s 200 syllables. You don’t actually buy the profanity by the word. You buy it by the syllable. So “motherfucker” is four syllables. You can use those four syllables to deploy one “motherfucker” or four “asses.” So I usually just buy them from cartoonists like Bil Keane, who does The Family Circus. He never uses his allotment. In a year, he never says “fuck” in The Family Circus more than ten times. So I will buy him out usually at the beginning of the year, so that I have enough to get me through a season.

You can listen to the interview here.

Take a look at this data; simply stunning:

124098 230983
235051 034055
450987 209322

You realize, don’t you, that the p-value is 5/4? With n = 21, how can the Dems not worry?

M: 7,936,501
O: 816,450
M: 15,761,495
O: 35,713
M: 2,836,037,610
O: 5,190
M: 3,875,066,753,263,633,645,017,856
O: 674

Dems should worry.

Everyone (n = 2) is asking my opinion about this:

Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi gave an enthusiastic, if unconventional, welcome on Thursday to the election of Barack Obama, citing among his attributes youth, good looks and a “suntan”.

What can I say? He’s a dummy.