Bat Segundo Interview — Cartoonist Secrets Revealed!

I gave an interview to the great BAT SEGUNDO show in which I accidentally revealed some of the secrets of cartooning . . .

Rees: Well, I trade (profanity) on the gray market. I trade — you know, cap and trade with carbon emissions? They set up the same thing for cartoonists, where you get a given amount of profanity. “Fuck,” “goddam,” “asshole,” “shit,” “cocksucker,” “bitch,” all that stuff. And then if you want to use more, you buy a set on the International Profanity Market. You buy a certain amount from other cartoonists.


Correspondent: They come in 200 units, I think.


Rees: Right. Well, it’s 200 syllables. You don’t actually buy the profanity by the word. You buy it by the syllable. So “motherfucker” is four syllables. You can use those four syllables to deploy one “motherfucker” or four “asses.” So I usually just buy them from cartoonists like Bil Keane, who does The Family Circus. He never uses his allotment. In a year, he never says “fuck” in The Family Circus more than ten times. So I will buy him out usually at the beginning of the year, so that I have enough to get me through a season.

You can listen to the interview here.

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