EXCLUSIVE! Friedman’s House: A Voice From The Inside

A long-time MNFTIU reader writes to say he/she once worked a cocktail party at Thomas Friedman’s house.

Take it away:

. . . Upon entering the house, I noticed that the ceilings were very high — maybe 12-14 feet or even more. The interior was immaculate — I guessed that it had been cleaned by a professional team from top to bottom that very day, and the ceilings were so high that you would probably need stepladders to do it so perfectly. The floorboards, the tasteful blue-gray paint job, the fixtures, molding, and every piece of furniture seemed ultra-new, with no wear and tear.


When I washed my hands upon visiting the bathroom, I managed to let a drop of water get out of the sink, at which point I felt guilty because I pretty much ruined the perfectness of the bathroom at that point. The gathering eventually grew to about 30-40 people, all dressed in moderately formal attire. About midway through the evening, someone started clinking their glass and asked Tom to speak, at which point Thomas Friedman stood up and welcomed everyone to his home, at which point I realized that I was totally in Tom Friedman’s house.


I did not hear what he said, because that was the designated time for me and the other helpers to go to the kitchen and eat dinner prepared by his Ukrainian servant. The kitchen was huge, just like every other room in his house. I talked to the Ukrainian woman and Tom Friedman’s wife too, who was super nice and apparently is a schoolteacher. The Ukrainian woman is their full-time help, and I’m pretty sure they had another servant too.


The thing that blew me away was not merely the scale and sheer richness of their home — which was impressive; it was the fact that it was the home of a journalist-writer-pundit. Being an avid consumer of mainstream punditry, I always naively envision people like Tom Friedman living in a comfortable yet modest apartment on West End Avenue, with a couple of comfortable rooms and a big office somewhere with papers and books everywhere.


This was quite the opposite — a total showpiece, with every detail in perfect order. It finally dawned on me that Tom Friedman must sell so many books that he is the equivalent of Madonna in terms of sales, which is how he can afford his humongous crib. That, plus he really really likes to impress his guests with his house.

Have any other readers been in Thomas Friedman’s house? Send me your memories/impressions . . . anonymity guaranteed . . .

Have any MNFTIU readers been inside Thomas Friedman’s moustache? Send your memories/impressions/sensations/celebrations . . . anonymity guaranteed . . .

GYWO Comics Vs. GYWO Videos

A word of explanation:

I’m gonna stop making the GYWO cartoon on Inauguration Day. Rolling Stone has already published my final comic for them. (It’s in the current issue, with Bush weeping on the cover. Pick up a copy: COLLECTOR’S ITEM.)

My weekly newspaper clients (all 1,000 of them, LOL) will print their final GYWO comic late next week. I’ll get those online eventually.

THAT LEAVES THE GYWO VIDEOS. The videos have been on hiatus for a few months. I would be happy to continue making ’em in the new year, but it all depends on whether 236.com (web site who commissioned/produced them) wants more.

Let us all hope they do, because I think it would be fun to make videos about all the exciting events in today’s world!

For instance, did you know Israel is about to defeat Hamas once and for all, thereby ending terror in Gaza? IT WOULD BE SO FUN TO MAKE A VIDEO ABOUT THAT!!!

Google Alert: “GET YOUR WAR ON”

Wow, the memories are really flowing, huh? LOL.

Here’s a nice article about the big GYWO book that google alerts found for me. (Google alerts is like TIVO for the internet.)

And you know what? Rees was right like, 95% of the time (One thing he got wrong was when one of his characters, shocked that eight weeks of bombing Afghanistan had yet to kill bin Laden, said that U.S. bombing raids must be like the elixir of eternal life, and that Saddam Hussein would therefore live to be 400-years-old). He was certainly more right more often than, say, The New York Times or NBC News or Newsweek or Time or Bob Woodward, and therefore deserves the right to put “definitive account” on his book more than just about anyone else who consistently commented on the war.

YESSS!!! Thanks to J. Caleb Mozzocco for writing such an in-depth review of the book. I trust you will all join me in buying fifty copies???

GYWO Memory: West Virginia

Once I gave a GYWO lecture in West Virginia … in a huge assembly hall at a college … the hall was approximately 10% full … which made me feel approximately 10 inches tall … oh well, LOL …

LOL, just look at that body language! A man fully comfortable with himself, his career, and his public-speaking abilities …

MEMORIES.

(Photo credit: Zak Richards)

Friday Face-Offs: “Red Red Wine” — WINNER!!!

Was it Shakespeare who said, “If music be the wine of love, drink up?”

I think it was Shakespeare. Anyway, this vid is Shakespearean in its Tempest-ness of AWESOMENESS.

LOL, at (0:24) you can really hear how quiet the bass is. Like a fine Pinot Noir, the bass is so dark and rich!

And can I ask a question? At (0:56), is the guy in the white t-shirt feeling very good? I swear, it’s like he’s a Cabernet Sauvignoun (sp)– so smooth and well-balanced, with all the right notes!

Seriously, if they could make a wine that tasted the way that guy is feeling, I would buy it by the case.

But: Arrgghh, one thing about this video that makes me so frustrated is that they’re NOT DRINKING WINE! Dudes, you KNOW that when it comes to good times with old friends, wine is your best beverage choice! YOU’RE EVEN DANCING TO A SONG ABOUT HOW AWESOME IT IS!!! You could have bought a bottle of Rheisling (sp), Malbeck (sp), or MERLOT, so why are you drinking big bottles of Heineken, a.k.a. “the poor man’s Pinot Grigiot (sp)”?!?

Anyway, just had to get that off my chest.

LOL, back to the guy in the white t-shirt: Feelin’ sad at (1:29), would you say? Right after the little beer bottle boat floats by? He’s feelin’ glum? LOL, then the Sunkist bottle makes a cameo? Hello? Party off the hook much?

One more thing — (3:28): Guy reppin’ Toyota Corollas very hard?

Great video, congratulations to our winning team. (And now, finally, can I just say for the record that “Red Red Wine” is one of the worst songs ever recorded. Thanks.)

Friday Face-Offs! HERE ENDETH WINE WEEK. Thanks to everyone for their nice emails about wine and especially those who wrote in with messages of support re: MERLOT.

NEXT WEEK: THE LAST WEEK OF GYWO; I’LL BE POSTING GYWO MEMORIES ALL WEEK.

Have a good weekend.

Friday Face-Offs: “Red Red Wine” – 3rd Place

(NOTE: This video features adult/bizarre content, which is not endorsed or condoned by Friday Face-Offs.)

Having said that, may I now say this is the GREATEST VIDEO OF ALL TIME?

If you’ve ever wanted to know how kids view grown-ups’ relationship to wine, watch this video.

This video almost makes me feel ashamed of my love of wine, because when I watched it, I was like, “Yep, I gotta admit, they kinda nailed it — that IS how I feel about wine. I would TOTALLY rub two wine bottles together (1:14) in the hopes of producing more wine.”

Then again, they started losing me at (1:25). At first, I thought “OK, masturbating the wine bottle, who doesn’t do that, it’s all part of the wine game,” but then? (1:28?) The neck braces? Umm . . . that doesn’t feel normal to me. I rarely wear my neck brace while enjoying a glass of wine.

But then I thought, “Maybe the neck brace will catch any wine I spill while slugging straight out of the bottle!” So I got on board with the neck brace.

Then the bear comes into it (1:32), and I’m like, “Hmm, not really sure where this is headed . . . not sure this still reflects my relationship to wine. . .”

AND THEN WE HIT (1:36). OK GUYS, YOU LOST ME. I mean, yeah, I like drinking wine, but come on.