My friend sent me this amazing video about how exciting it is to drill for oil. 

“We were born to be black gold hunters!”

Another great lyric: “Heavy metal Christmas tree.” I bet that’s about how trees turn into oil or something.

Why doesn’t ExxonMobil produce videos like this? I would totally dance around on an oil rig while some guy in a burgundy leather jumpsuit sang about petroleum deposits!

Here’s another funtoid about the classic Minutemen album released 25 years ago this week:

SST Records paid big bucks to put Henry Mancini on retainer for orchestral arrangements. (SST founder Greg Ginn thought Husker Du’s “Land Speed Record” would benefit from Mancini’s cosmopolitan touch, apparently saying “I guarantee if we add some violins, we’ll have a #1 hit record, because the music is so slow and relaxing.”)

Mancini visited Radio Tokyo studio when the Minutemen were tracking “Double Nickels on the Dime” and was blown away at their productivity– they recorded 25 songs in 59 seconds. He offered to write a 30-piece orchestral arrangement for “Two Beads at the End” but was turned down by the band, because “the whole point of the album was about our exotic Italian sports cars, and he (Mancini) didn’t even own a Ferrari,” according to Mike Watt.

Enjoy.

Here’s a link to an interview I did with “People You Don’t Know” last week about the whole thing with the juice. (LOL, could my voice be any more nasal?)

If you’re tired of the juice stuff, you can listen to the other parts of the interview, which have nothing to do with juice. The non-juice portion is here. (We discuss Davy D’s “KRS-One Will End Your Career!”)

People often wonder about the meaning of the album title Double Nickels on the Dime. The phrase refers to driving exactly 55 miles per hour.

You see, before he became the drummer for the Minutemen, George Hurley was Sammy Hagar.

And as “Sammy Hagar,” Hurley wrote and recorded a song called “I Can’t Drive 55,” which was about how much he loved to drive over the speed limit in his black Ferrari, which was a gift from SST Records founder Greg Ginn:

(At the 2:30 mark, you can see members of Black Flag start a courtroom riot.)

In fact, before they decided to call themselves the Minutemen and sing songs about Central American politics, D. Boon, Mike Watt, and George Hurley performed as “The Lamborghini Brothers,” and sang songs about their Italian sports cars:

1. “Jesus And Tequila And My Maserati Quattroporte”
2. “Political Song For My Testarossa To Sing”
3. “Working Men Are Pissed (That They Don’t Get To Ride In My Ferrari 365 GT4)”

(For more information, see the book “Our Band Could Be Your Lamborghini,” which is an oral history of the Southern California exotic-car-punk music scene.)

Anyway, when SST Records demanded that the band record a double album, the Lamborghini Brothers changed their name to the Minutemen (in honor of how long it takes to swap out a Maserati Merat’s catalytic converter) and recorded 832 songs in four days.

They initially planned to call the album Friends Don’t Let Friends Drive Rice-Burners, but agreed to change the name when label-mates Saccharine Trust (an easy-listening group that had been discovered on Ed McMahon’s Star Search when Greg Ginn was a celebrity judge) took offense.

The Minutemen’s second choice for an album title was Triple Nickels on the Dime, which referred to the pleasures of driving 555 miles per hour on California’s Highway 10. But this was controversial as well, as SST band Tom Troccoli’s Dog (still one of the best-selling American groups of all time; who doesn’t own a Tom Troccoli’s Dog album?) had just released a record called We Love Driving 555 Miles Per Hour, which had shot to the top of the pop charts. The Minutemen didn’t want to risk a lawsuit.

So the band compromised and named their album Double Nickels on the Dime.

The iconic cover photo of the album features Mike Watt behind the wheel of his Lamborghini Countach. He’s smiling because he hit 55 mph in first gear.

I’ll post more true facts about this amazing record during the week.

Let’s celebrate!!! It’s the 25th anniversary of the release of Double Nickels on the Dime, the greatest album ever made by the best band of all time!!!

Here’s the first song I ever heard from the album … it seems especially appropriate this week (listen to the opening line):

LOL, drum fills not very rocking … guitar sounding not very insane … BEST ALBUM EVER!!!

I’m spending the day working at my friends’ wine shop, turning people on to the great taste of MERLOT (aka “Juice for grown-ups,” aka “Grape smoothie”).

Once I convince everyone in America to drink wine instead of juice, I will go into retirement and nobody will ever have to suffer my esoteric cultural-legal arguments ever again.

Well guys, it’s almost the end of juice week. Jamba Juice has issued the following statement:

“In the spirit of promoting Jamba’s message of summer bliss we specifically chose Tom Tierney-created clip art images to illustrate the state of office bliss-less-ness we were hoping to alleviate through our products. The Summer Bliss campaign has been running since May 25th using these stylized images to promote a light-hearted message of summer fun.

We understand there has been some misunderstanding about the Summer Bliss campaign artwork and the comic strip created by David Rees due to the use of these clip art images. Jamba Juice would like to expressly communicate that the Summer Bliss promotion was not intended to imply any affiliation with Mr. Rees, Mr. Rees’ endorsement of Jamba Juice and its products, or Jamba Juice’s endorsement of Mr. Rees’ work.” (My emphasis)

Guys, I’m disappointed that Jamba Juice didn’t endorse my work. What if they had? What if the statement had read, “This was not intended to imply Mr. Rees’ endorsement of Jamba Juice, but it WAS intended to imply Jamba Juice’s endorsement of Mr. Rees’ work. GEORGE W. BUSH IS A WAR CRIMINAL!!! Also, Jamba Juice would like to say, ‘Everybody stop listening to Thomas Friedman!’ and ‘America’s love affair with capitalism will end in FLAMES!’ Jamba Juice stands with David Rees against the tyranny of American hegemony!!! Fuck our shareholders … their wealth is built upon a pile of bones!!!”

That would have been an exciting corporate statement.

Anyway, I would like them to post this statement on the “Cubicle Picnic” web site, but I don’t think they have. What good is a free-floating corporate statement?

Also, somebody emailed me saying “Jamba” is Swahili for “fart.” Can somebody confirm/deny? Because I could see myself publishing a 500-page graphic novel based around that fact.

“Jamba’s ad agency rep explains the idea behind their Cubicle Picnic during a meeting with bloggers about Jamba’s new food items.”

QUESTION: Who were the bloggers in attendance? If Josh Micah Marshall was there, I’ll be heartbroken.

Anne Elizabeth Moore wrote a book called “Unmarketable: Brandalism, Copyfighting, Mocketing, and the Erosion of Integrity.” (I assume it’s all about how awesome advertising is.) She interviewed me about the Jombo Juice thingamadoodle:

How do you actually personally feel about this juice company?

I’m indifferent. I don’t remember ever trying their juices.

Read the whole thing here.