You all know how much I love ol’ Matt Taibbi.

I just read one of his all-time great paragraphs — he’s talking about the MSNBC lady who dropped a 10-ton bomb of dumb the other day. Have you seen the video? Here’s the video:

“If Medicare’s so great, why don’t you use it, you 45-year-old man who won’t qualify for another 20 years?” LOL, health policy debate highlight.

Anyway, Taibbi brought the ruckus with this one:

Fuck a fancy boutique drug like Erbitux — I have a very expensive private plan and I can’t even go to a doctor, not even to ask a simple question, unless it’s an emergency. I can’t get a routine checkup, can’t find out what that weird lump in my left foot is, can’t have the pleasure of a routine proctological exam unless I want to pay cash for it, and, well, forget about getting a filling replaced or seeing a therapist to deal with my incipient nervous collapse/burgeoning mid-life crisis. Hell, forget about paying for Erbitux, if I wanted to get a colonoscopy to find out if I needed Erbitux, I wouldn’t be able to — I’d probably have to wait until I was a fully symptomatic cancer patient before I could even have that conversation on my insurer’s dime. And I’m one of the lucky ones, I actually have money to pay for care out of pocket, if I had to. No country in the world rations care more than the U.S. There are whole generations of Americans (20-40 year-olds in particular) who don’t know what it is to be able to go to a doctor for preventive care or routine checkups. Erbitux, for Christ’s sake! Give me a break.

LOL, I love the guy. Hope that lump in your foot goes away, Matt! Lemme know if you want me to organize a prayer vigil for it …

Does anyone know anything about this magazine? Is it good? Worth subscribing to? College hoops will start up soon and I wanna be “in the know.”

Is there anything worse than trying to watch the big game at your local sports bar, and you can’t even hear the TV because some idiot is blasting Vivaldi on the juke box? “Hey everybody, listen to how the violins go dee-dee-do-dee and the trumpets go brawk-brawk-brpppt!”

Arggghh it makes me so angry! The next person who says “harpsichord” is gonna get a fist sandwich in their eye.

My friend and I were watching the Final Four at Bill’s Sports Oasis last year, and we couldn’t follow the game because it was “Gustav Mahler Night” (sponsored by Corona), so they were blasting this angry, intense symphony bullshit at ear-splitting volume! “We get it, Gustav: you couldn’t get laid. Boo-hoo.”

I wish I had thought to bring my (NEAR-MINT) CLASSICAL MUSIC DISRUPTOR/ELIMINATOR! Then, with the mere switch of a button, I could have shut down all classical music (live OR recorded) within 5 miles!

If you hate classical music, you can’t afford to live without this device. Note: This is one of the original, coal-powered models, so make sure you have lots of coal handy, or you won’t be disrupting shit.

Hate to let this one go! For fans of vintage technology, get a load of this first-generation CUSTOM URL SHORTENER. This is the prototype designed by Rod Surly and Jacob Whitebreath that debuted at the 2002 Techno-Mall 2.0 Trade Show. You simply plug the URL Shortener into one of the internet pipes, grab a site with a long URL, then type in a new, shorter URL before releasing the site back into the pipe.

In fact, I hate to brag, but I’m the guy who used this machine to change CableNewsNetwork.com to cnn.com, which has saved billions of keystrokes in the past few years. So you’re getting a real piece of history with this device!

THIS IS ONE OF MY PRIZED POSSESSIONS, EMAIL ME FOR A SERIOUS INQUIRY ON HOW YOU CAN BUY IT. Condition is double-mint near-plus. Yes, institutions are welcome to make an offer.

Carrying case included. I can’t emphasize enough how hard this thing kicks bit.ly’s ass.

I’m trying to reduce my carbon footprint by selling a bunch of junk I no longer need. As loyal readers of my blog, you will have first dibs on these items before I post them to ebay.com and amazon.com/used.

This week I’ll be selling some of the interesting machines and devices I’ve picked up over the years. SO GET OUT YOUR PAYPAL AND GET READY TO GO CRAZY.

Good morning and blessings to you all!

I’m sorry to say I haven’t had time to check in with The Plague recently. I assume everyone in the town is still busy dying. And of course, our hero doctor is still running around trying to help and living on 4 hours of sleep per night.

I’ll try my best to get back into the book this week and let you know what happens!

Sorry guys, I really goofed! THE REJECTION SHOW EVENT LISTED TO THE RIGHT TOOK PLACE LAST NIGHT, NOT TONIGHT!!!

I’m really sorry. And I can’t get my blog software to delete the listing!

Please let everyone know that there is no Rejection Show tonight!

Hey guys, ever heard of True/Slant? It’s a new group blog like the Huffington Post but it actually pays contributors. I know, that’s totally crazy. What kind of group blog would actually pay contributors, what is this, Communist Russia Internet World? 
 
Anyway, I’ve been an infrequent contributor to T/S. (Gotta step up my game so I can make that Internet $$$.) Here’s a scoop I posted last week, re: the news that Disney has hired David Mamet to adapt The Diary of Anne Frank for a movie.* A friend in Hollywood faxed me an early draft of the screenplay and you can only read it on True/Slant!

CHECK IT OUT, IT’S RIGHT HERE.

Read it, fax it to your friends, get psyched for this incredible movie!!!

*(This is true.)