I know some smart aleck is probably composing an email to me:

“Hey Dave, pretty funny posting an AFL-CIO speech during Dinosaur Week, LOL Dave because the labor movement is a dinosaur and unions are basically extinct.”

You know what, smart aleck? DON’T CALL ME DAVE. MY NAME IS DAVID. SHOW RESPECT. I’M THE HOTTEST NEW BLOGGER ON THE SCENE — YOU CAN’T STEP TO ME LIKE WE’RE OLD CHUMS FROM SCHOOLYARD DAYS.

And the labor movement isn’t a dead dinosaur. As much as the Right wants to kill it, and Grover Norquist or whoever fantasizes about the day when workers have no bargaining power and work as indentured servants and get stuck in collapsed mines ten times per day, the labor movement is gonna be like that mastadon from Maya Angelou’s poem:

“Still I rise, I rise, I rise, I’m about to rise up and kick all of your asses into the La Brea tar pits!!! BELIEVE THAT!”

(Quoting from memory.)

I like it when somebody just plain ol’ sets it off.

Check out 4:00 – 6:12, are you kidding me? LOL, did he set it off very hard?

What’s everyone complaining about? He seems like a nice guy. Cool, calm, collected. Definitely not giving off the vibe of being two seconds away from exploding. Definitely doesn’t seem to be trying with all his might not to scream and rant and eat his own fist.

LOL, no tension in the room there . . . seems to take criticism well . . . LOL, sounds like he’d be open to ideas and suggestions from people in his administration . . . definitely wouldn’t just lock himself in the Oval Office and start pressing every big red button he saw . . . LOL, must be a fun marriage . . . shit probably doesn’t get very intense when somebody misplaces his reading glasses . . . LOL, “Straight Talk Express” . . .

LOL, I got so excited about dinosaurs I forgot to mention the big news:

The FINAL, DEFINITIVE COLLECTION of GET YOUR WAR ON will be published next week.

Over 200 comic-crammed pages of chaos, comedy, and carnage!!! Multiple comics per page, to ensure maximum value!!!

The book collects the greatest hits of GYWO — from 2001 through 2008!!!

Guess what I titled it?

LOL, best title ever: GET YOUR WAR ON: THE DEFINITIVE ACCOUNT OF THE WAR ON TERROR, 2001 – 2008.

LOL, prove me wrong! Who got the War on Terror more right than me? LOL, Bob Woodward? LOL, I don’t think so. Thomas Friedman? Double LOL!

Please buy fifty copies of this book. Thanks so much! More information next week!

Dinosaurs! The more I learn, the more I LIKE. Just imagine: They stomped and roared across the earth thousands of years ago, and then disappeared overnight. Where did they go? Nobody knows. Only their fossils remain. Fortunately, scientists can use the fossils to reconstruct what the dinosaurs looked like. These reconstructions can then be cross-referenced with cave paintings made by cavemen. Thank God for cavemen, that’s what I always say.

Anyway, one of the most amazing facts about dinosaurs is that they used to dance together. It’s true! Scientists have found low-resolution videos embedded in fossils that show dinosaurs moving in coordinated fashion to music. (Of course, it’s caveman music — the worst, most boring music you’ll ever hear — but it’s technically music.)

Can you imagine Steglasaurossus and Pterylodoctopus dancing together? LOL, “You’re stepping on my feet — all TEN of them!” (It’s a well-known fact that dinosaurs had shitloads of feet. Ever heard the expression, “That guy has more feet than a dinosaur?” That’s where that expression comes from. From dinosaurs.)

LEARN YOUR DINOSAURS.

Could this really be true?

Of concern to McCain’s campaign, however, is a remaining and still-undisclosed clip from Palin’s interview with Couric last week that has the political world buzzing.

The Palin aide, after first noting how “infuriating” it was for CBS to purportedly leak word about the gaffe, revealed that it came in response to a question about Supreme Court decisions.

After noting Roe vs. Wade, Palin was apparently unable to discuss any major court cases.

There was no verbal fumbling with this particular question as there was with some others, the aide said, but rather silence.

This makes me love Sarah Palin. Imagine if every politician, when confronted with a topic they weren’t qualified to discuss, just shut down and sat in silence?

GLORIOUS, GLORIOUS SILENCE.

Multiple readers have chimed in and hit me over the head with the BUSTED! stick vis a vis my “Dinosaurs in the Bible” posts below.

Bill Hicks (famous comedian who lived 6,000 years ago) mined this fertile territory back in the 1990s. I think I subconsciously stole Hicks’ routine!

I apologize to my readers. And to the late Bill Hicks, wherever he is.

As to the readers who emailed me about Hicks’ routine: NEVER SECOND-GUESS ME AGAIN! THIS IS THE ONLY TIME I WILL SUBMIT TO YOUR FEEDBACK.

LOL, just kidding, keep the corrections coming.

(Although, isn’t it interesting that nobody has corrected my financial analyses? Proof that I am the best blogger on the scene.)

A note from reader MR:

I firmly believe the bailout plan failed because so many of your readers (such as myself) called Nancy Pelosi and demanded that it be limited to one million dollars. I actually said “I demand” at least six times during my recorded message to her. . . . Clearly, this is a huge triumph for your new blog that is already the most powerful blog in the interweb. KUDOS.

(My emphasis.) With great power comes great responsibility. Let us all pray I use it well.

You’re scared. The markets are falling. The interest rates are stagflating. The overnight currency exchanges are procluding.

What will tomorrow bring? And who will survive to witness it?

In the midst of this chaos, you need a calm voice, a steady hand, and a hot blog. I can provide all three. I will never let you down. MY PLEDGE: If you stick with me, you will never not understand what is happening to your money.

For instance, what is happening to your money right now is that it is getting completely hosed by the amoral corporate overlords who are going to feast on your blood and your children’s blood.

(And yes, your children are going to be all hungry and raddedy like those kids from Great Depression photos. You’re going to teach them to walk around in their grimy overalls and play the banjo and sing the old ballad “I Am Malnourished (Banjo Remix)” for spare change. It’s all part of the dynamic, destructive creativity of capitalism.)