In the midst of all my Wine Store Monday triumphalism, I should note that a few voices of dissent have cried out for more yoga-blogging. It’s true, I kinda fell off the yoga wagon/train/horse in recent weeks.

So, because I love all my readers and I believe in “Namaste” and “Vinyasa,” I will attend a yoga class TONIGHT and then blog about it tomorrow morning!

So all you yoga-headz, get ready! I’m about to pop off some downward dogs and maybe even reverse my warrior like a fuckin’ champ.

I’m gonna try to see if these guys will do a comedy gig at the wine store.

“Change has come to America.”

In an absolute rout that would make Nate Silver’s head explode like a gourd filled with Merlot, WINE STORE MONDAYS has crushed the competition!

The final tally? 15 in favor, 1 opposed.

From reader MR:

I definitely think “Wine Monday” should be a regular weekly feature. I hold this opinion for the following three very good reasons:

1. You always sound weirdly euphoric when you write about the wine shop, which makes for a “good read;”

2. It would provide a nice counterweight to Friday Face-Offs, thus giving the week some structure for those of us who don’t have normal jobs;

3. There are definitely not enough people spreading the word about how great wine is on the internet.

From BTS:

The original Wine Week was my favorite series since www.mnftiu.cc went into Blog Mode®.

Wine Store Mondays: giving Friday Face-Offs a run for its money since 9/09!

Reader JM understands how incredible Mondays will be from now on:

Writing to vote YES for Wine Store Mondays… LOL, is anyone voting ‘no’? (Jamba Juice moles –ed.) The chance to vicariously experience the excitement, intrigue, and prestige of working in a wine shop– “no thanks, I am currently skydiving while wrestling an alligator, my life has enough stimulation!”

Long-time reader FB smells a movie …

Just wanted to add another Yay! to the tally for Wine Store Mondays.  I already can smell the next Julie & Julia in the air …

P.S. The only people who hate Merlot are upper middle class jerkweeds who think “Sideways” was a documentary about their life. (Reader JKK, please note! –ed.)

P.P.S. Jamba Juice still sucks

Okay guys, I have my mandate. Wine Store Mondays is a go. But in order for this to really succeed, where I get a book deal and then Meryl Streep plays me in a movie, I will need all of your help in cross-blog-posting and linking and facebooking and twittering and what not.

Are we gonna do this? Am I actually gonna become America’s new wine authority on all things wine and wine-related?

Answer: YES.

Know hope.

Breaking … per my previous post, readers are overwhelmingly in favor of a regular “Wine Store Monday” feature … votes are currently 2 in favor, 0 opposed …

From reader JR:

If the blog was nothing but Wine Store Mondays, I would read it. And I don’t even drink. It’s like live-reporting from the front lines of capitalism.

LOL, me and Ayn Rand, chillin’ with a bottle of 2004 Di Bruno Sangiovese … you know how we roll … going Galt all over this Malbec, you can’t stop us …

Polls are still open! Let me know how you feel about regular Monday updates from the front lines of wine-apitalism.

Guys, I’m working at the wine store every Monday. It’s really nice in here, and I get to listen to internet radio and work on all my projects while surrounded by the finest wines …

So my question is: Should I make this a regular weekly feature? “Wine Store Mondays,” how does that strike you? You can kick off your work week by following all my adventures in the wine store. You’ll find out what it’s like to sell wine and answer people’s questions about wine and tell them about Merlot and Cabernet and the two other kinds of wine I’ve heard of.

Email me with your opinions. On my blog, the readers come first.

Don’t worry, no need to call the Beacon Fire Deparment, it’s not literally on fire.

But I just had three back-to-back transactions. Let me catch my breath and tell you about them …

First, a man bought so many bottles, he qualified for a discount. I put all his bottles in a big box and then he went on his merry way!

No sooner had he left then two women approached the counter with their bottles! You know how it goes: “No rest for the wicked,” and all that, so instead of resting on my laurels, I immediately swung into action and provided superior customer service by scanning their bottles and telling them the price and then selling the bottles to them and processing their credit cards with a flick of the wrist!

And now, if you’ll forgive me, I’m going to rest for a minute … gotta prepare for the evening rush …

Just sold a bottle of white wine to a gentleman who paid with a ONE HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL.

“Playas only, drink that wine.”

Reader KL concurs with my analysis of Mad Men:

Oddly enough, it was MY first time watching Mad Men last night, too….pretty boring, you betcha….

I should’ve gone with the old Sunday night standby, Law and Order Criminal Intent rerun instead.

Hmm, I don’t know if I’d go that far … good ol’ Law & Order … finally a realistic cop show for grown-ups … definitely holds up well against The Wire, LOL. Let’s watch Vincent D’onofrio have a conniption fit for 45 minutes, and then the suspect will totally confess to everything while their attorney sits there not doing anything to shut ’em up … we all know how often that happens in real life.

“Yes, yes, okay, I admit: I murdered socialite Doris Hilton. She wouldn’t dine in my restaurant so I stabbed her in the neck with a mustard bottle. Then I dumped her body in the hottest Williamsburg nightclub where all those lousy teenagers go to snort cocaine. Also, rap music is scary. And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn’t for you meddling kids. Whoa, hey, are you Eric Bogosian? What are you doing here? Anyway, yeah, lock me up forever, I don’t care. By the way, I’m so glad my rich parents paid so much money for this hard-as-nails defense attorney, because he’s obviously doing a great job preventing me from putting my foot in my mouth and confessing to everything. Thanks a lot, Mr. Attorney. Okay, so, umm, do I just put the handcuffs on myself, or what? Hello? I’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight with ominous Yahama DX-7 synthesizer music going crazy, what happens next? Oh, you’re rolling credits? Okay. Dick Wolf, much respect.”

I don’t know, guys. It might just be that Sunday night is read-a-book night.

That reminds me: I finished The Plague. There was a twist ending re: who the narrator was. I had forgotten that the narrator turned out to be one of the infected rats. He had taught himself to read and write while all the other rats were dying of plague.

In case you think I made up that story about the incredible Merlot/Bordeaux wine of the week, read what the wine shop owners say about this wine:

Here is a wine that will make the transition to Fall beautifully. The 2005 vintage in Bordeaux is considered the best in a century, certainly the best in our lifetime. The benefit is not only for the top end châteaux, but also for everyday wines such as this bottle. The fruit is that much riper and complex, thus making for a wine that drinks like a more expensive one. This pure Merlot is harvested mainly from the Premières Côtes de Blaye area of the right bank of the Gironde. It is aged in oak barrels, imparting depth and perfume.

“Best in our lifetime?” Are you kidding me? You people better come in here and buy some of this motherfuckin’ wine, or you’re gonna regret it for the rest of your life. I’m opening one of these bottles tonight.

Okay, so I’m sitting here working at the wine shop … wines flying every which way … even wines with bubbles in them … and then I notice that the “Wine of the Week” is the 2005 Vincent Saincrit Bordeaux, which is a MERLOT. Booyah. Regular readers of this blog know how hard I go to the mat for Merlot, the greatest kind of wine, the wine that crushes all other wines (even champagne) … and now, I’ve got this case of this bad-ass Merlot sitting here, and it’s 10% off this week only. Let’s make this happen!!!

I’m gonna try this wine myself, tonight. Can’t wait! The label is really nice; you’d think this wine costs $50 a bottle. But it’s quite a bit less … come on into the wine shop and let me blow your mind with what a great bargain this bottle is …