An email from a female internet user (didn’t know such a thing existed) has inspired me:

You seem nuts and it’s awesome! I’m [REDACTED]’s friend and I was complaining about being bored of the internet already at 6 in the morning and he said something about an unstoppable new fighting technique and now I wanna be your FACEBOOK FRIEND!

Aw yeah

Unfortunately I’m a girl.

Oh well

Okay, for this week only, female internet users can sign up for shifts in the MNFTIU Facebook sausage factory. Please bring your own hairnet and please be ready to discuss these topics:

1. Cans of beer, and how fun it is to drink too many of them
2. Are the Lions gonna beat the Bengals in the AFC East?
3. Remember that one night when Fat Tony ate 23 slices of pizza, and the last slice was sticking out of his throat and we were throwing peanuts at it?
4. When is Fangoria magazine gonna release a coffee table book?
5. Will Alex Rodriguez get a .452 RBI before the World Series goes on HD and can I get nachos with that?

Hey everybody! Hope you’re having a good day. Anyway, we’ve just posted the latest PUNCHLINE POLL over at true/slant. Please take a moment to read the joke (“Jay Leno Will Take Your Job”) and vote on your favorite punchline!

Polls close next Friday. Vote early, vote often. (But please, don’t write computer scripts that keep auto-voting; this poll is open to humans only. Call the UN if you think that’s unfair.) Thanks so much for participating in our democratic system!

Longtime blog-reader (and Facebookophobe) JKK was lurking on my Facebook page and offers this criticism:

Dude I know you may want to hide your friends after realizing Facebook’s nefarious plans but for my eyes it’s too late! I already noticed something about all your friends — namely, it’s a Facebook sausage factory. Yes, you have a few female friends sprinkled about, but basically you all are doing some serious BRO-IN’ OUT. Are you going to use your “wall” (or whatever the fuck it is, I’m not on Facebook) to arrange a kegger and wear baseball caps backwards and wrestle to express your mutual affection?

What can I say? I’m a guy’s guy. I love barbecue, beer, and sports– IN THAT ORDER. I wake up listening to Foghat and I rock ‘n’ roll all day and I don’t use conditioner when I wash my hair. I’m a 100% he-dude. So it’s no wonder that most of my Facebook friends are dudes.

Look, here’s a photo of me with my friends:

We were at a release party for a new kind of buffalo wing. It was awesome! I remember, I drank eleven cups of Jack & Coke, my favorite drink. Then Tony and I got in a fight about who was the greatest boxer of all time: Mike Tyson or Horseface Jones. Man, that was a funny argument. We got thrown out of the bar and then we kicked a car just for the heck of it and the car alarm went off and we started laughing so hard. Then we repressed our emotions for years and now we’re all in therapy. NO GIRLS ALLOWED!

Great, I just listened to that radio show and now I’m mad at Facebook! Let’s all reconvene on Friendster– it’ll be fun, like an abandoned beach nobody knows about with leftover cans of Bud.

If you want to hide your friends list from cyber-stalkers, just click the little pencil by your friends list and un-check “Show Friend List to Everyone.”

More information here.

The Brian Lehrer Show on WNYC is talking about Facebook … Facebook is becoming less private … they know everything … they’re gong to bundle us and sell us to advertisers … ARRGGGHHH why did I wait until Facebook sucked to join???

Will somebody please tell me what the next internet innovation will be, so I can get on it ahead of everyone else???

Ladies and gentlemen, we knew it would only be a matter of time before a take-no-prisoners iconoclast like me stirred up trouble on Facebook.

Look at this comment from a long-lost high school classmate:

you need some pictures on fb! what good is one shot looking up your nose?

Ouch! That’s supposed to be my “semi-professional” photo! I will have to ponder adding more photos to my Facebook. Maybe I will, maybe I won’t. Who knows? It’s all part of the emotional rollercoaster that is Facebook!

(One thing I don’t understand is, if you’re my Facebook friend, do you see EVERYTHING that people write to me, or only the things that are written to me by people you’re ALSO friends with on Facebook? Basically, what I want to know is, can you all read my email?)

Looks like I got some new friends last night while I was busy sitting on the sofa reading Raymond Carver’s biography (executive summary: homeboy drank).

I will accept all these friendships and then set out looking for more friends!

I LOVE FACEBOOK

Whew! My “accept-a-new-friend-button-pressing finger” is all worn out. My first full day on Facebook was great. Maybe tomorrow I’ll post some stuff on my wall. (I joined Facebook in part to promote all my new projects, once I come up with some new projects.)

If you’re a blog reader who isn’t on Facebook, don’t worry … this blog is still my #1 favorite spot on the internet. It’s the greatest thing going. But also I love Facebook. And twitter. And true/slant. And worldsgreatestcomedian.com. And urlshorteningservicefortwitter.com. I love all my babies.

Okay, that’s enough for today. Happy New Year to all, and to all a good night!

I made friends on Facebook today! It’s awesome. I even updated my status to say, “I like making friends.” (I think it’s my status … it might just be a message on my wall … still learning all this stuff … be patient, my friends …)

I wonder if I can transfer my blog to Facebook’s social network? If I do that, does everyone on Facebook have to read my blog, whether they want to or not? Because I would really like that.