An email from a female internet user (didn’t know such a thing existed) has inspired me:
You seem nuts and it’s awesome! I’m [REDACTED]’s friend and I was complaining about being bored of the internet already at 6 in the morning and he said something about an unstoppable new fighting technique and now I wanna be your FACEBOOK FRIEND!
Unfortunately I’m a girl.
Okay, for this week only, female internet users can sign up for shifts in the MNFTIU Facebook sausage factory. Please bring your own hairnet and please be ready to discuss these topics:
1. Cans of beer, and how fun it is to drink too many of them
2. Are the Lions gonna beat the Bengals in the AFC East?
3. Remember that one night when Fat Tony ate 23 slices of pizza, and the last slice was sticking out of his throat and we were throwing peanuts at it?
4. When is Fangoria magazine gonna release a coffee table book?
5. Will Alex Rodriguez get a .452 RBI before the World Series goes on HD and can I get nachos with that?