Longtime blog-reader (and Facebookophobe) JKK was lurking on my Facebook page and offers this criticism:

Dude I know you may want to hide your friends after realizing Facebook’s nefarious plans but for my eyes it’s too late! I already noticed something about all your friends — namely, it’s a Facebook sausage factory. Yes, you have a few female friends sprinkled about, but basically you all are doing some serious BRO-IN’ OUT. Are you going to use your “wall” (or whatever the fuck it is, I’m not on Facebook) to arrange a kegger and wear baseball caps backwards and wrestle to express your mutual affection?

What can I say? I’m a guy’s guy. I love barbecue, beer, and sports– IN THAT ORDER. I wake up listening to Foghat and I rock ‘n’ roll all day and I don’t use conditioner when I wash my hair. I’m a 100% he-dude. So it’s no wonder that most of my Facebook friends are dudes.

Look, here’s a photo of me with my friends:

We were at a release party for a new kind of buffalo wing. It was awesome! I remember, I drank eleven cups of Jack & Coke, my favorite drink. Then Tony and I got in a fight about who was the greatest boxer of all time: Mike Tyson or Horseface Jones. Man, that was a funny argument. We got thrown out of the bar and then we kicked a car just for the heck of it and the car alarm went off and we started laughing so hard. Then we repressed our emotions for years and now we’re all in therapy. NO GIRLS ALLOWED!