Author Archive for dr

Reader Mail: Friday Face-Offs

A European reader (yes, this blog is read worldwide, yes this is the hottest new blog, yes the E.U. is knighting me and bestowing the Order Of Super-Bloggers upon me) writes in about last week’s Friday Face-Off Runner Up:

She is so expressive in her eyes — it is as if she was on the horrible show ‘America’s Next Top Model’ and Tyra Banks told her to smile with her eyes. But this lady took it a thousand times farther and expressed her contempt and rage through her eyes. Amazing. I can’t stop watching.

“Friday Face-Offs: I Can’t Stop Watching.”

Data Point I Forgot To Mention

Something I never even thought about before canvassing in PA this weekend:

The whole Sarah-Palin-winking-at-the-camera thing during the VP debate?

Did NOT go over well with female Hillary supporters of a certain age.

Dangers Of Door-Knocking

Went to Wilkes-Barre, PA this weekend to engage in political subterfuge on behalf of a known radical and terrorist sympathizer. Ate a Philly cheesesteak; when asked for a cheese topping, chose “Wiz.”

Body now HURTING.

Nobody beats the Wiz!!!

EXCLUSIVE: Inside The New GYWO Book

I told you there was hot new book coming out. . . could be the hottest new book on the scene . . . could take Barnes & Noble to a whole new level . . .

Amazon might have to buy new servers to handle the online orders . . . this could be the “Eat, Pray, Love” of political-cartoon anthologies . . . Hello Oprah, it’s me GYWO, let’s make this happen . . . Deepak Chopra, I want to be on your podcast, you can interview me at your convenience (but this week would be better than next week) . . .

BUY FIFTY COPIES HERE!

Friday Face-Offs: Fortunate Son — WINNER!!!

Congratulations, all other rock bands throughout history. You have just been destroyed.

“I believe the children are our future /
Teach them well and let them lead the way”
–Whitney Houston

(PS: Yes, he is singing the chorus in the affirmative, i.e. exactly wrong, i.e. exactly right.)

FRIDAY FACE-OFFS! WE WIN AGAIN!!!

Have a great weekend! If you live in Wilkes-Barre, PA, look for me knocking on your door.

Friday Face-Offs: Fortunate Son – 2nd Place

I know I’ll get angry emails saying this doesn’t deserve 2nd Place:

Whatever. You think I’m gonna apologize for being mesmerized? I never apologize! AND THIS BLOG NEVER APOLOGIZES!!! I’ve made my decision, you deal with it!!!

Here’s how I feel about this video:

And her smile. By the end, when she clearly knew she was doing well, it was so sparkling it was almost mesmerizing. It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America. This is a quality that can’t be learned; it’s either something you have or you don’t, and man, she’s got it.

LOL, actually that’s Rich Lowry talking about Sarah Palin, LOL times ten million!

PLEASE let this lady get in a room with Sarah Palin! Would this lady get very imperious and wave her head around and pull out that spoon and make Sarah Palin look about four inches tall? Answer: YES.

FRIDAY FACE-OFFS! WINNING VIDEO IS NEXT!!! (WARNING: IT’S A DESTROYER.)

Friday Face-Offs: Fortunate Son – 3rd Place

User’s description of video: “This song is very common in vietnam war movies so i decieded to play it on the bass”

My description of video: “The guy’s username is ‘lynyrdskynyrdgod2112.’ How are you NOT watching this?”

Okay, something beautiful about this video: Mike Watt (who, as we all know, recorded the greatest version of “Fortunate Son” ever, which is not at the top of today’s FFO only because I have recused the Minutemen from FFO competition, lest they win every week, even for songs they never recorded) learned to play bass by plucking along to “Down on the Corner” by Creedence Clearwater Revival. And you know what? When Mike Watt first started playing bass, it probably sounded a little like lynyrdskynyrdgod2112.

So all we can say to lynyrdskynyrdgod2112 is, keep practicing that bass. The world needs more Mike Watts.

Friday Face-Offs: Fortunate Son – 4th Place

HELLO THERE.

IT’S TIME TO CHANT “FORTUNATE SON” AS IF IT WAS THE GREAT LITANY AT CHURCH.

Pare down that melody and let ‘er rip.

And for all the haters, let me add that this is the first time I’ve ever understood the “When the tax man comes to the door” lyric. “It looks like a rummage sale.” FINALLY. I never knew what the deal was when the tax man came to the door.

Thank you for enunciating, sir.