Best Of 2014: PALINDROMES

If there’s one area in which 2014 saw incredible advances we couldn’t have imagined, it’s the area of PALINDROMES. Palindromes are the unsung heroes of the English language, tickling our funnybones while expanding our minds — and giving us lots to think about — while reminding us that simple pleasures are wonderful, even though palindromes are hardly simple … but then again, what is? (Answer? Palindromes.)

Consider the following: English is the only language that has palindromes, because English is the only language that can be read forwards and backwards, which is what palindromes do best! That’s why 2014 was a key development for palindromes. And if that doesn’t make you proud to be English, I don’t know what will.

So put on your reading glasses and check out the TOP TEN PALINDROMES OF 2014:

10. Is it a zit?

9. CIA man, a maniac

8. On CNN, Wolf Blitzer’s z-bile flow: “No, c’mon!”

7. Prez Putin, USSR dude, R U srs? Tiny penis, up!

6. True Detective smash hit — but Sy’s tub, ’tis ham. (Defective, in a rut)

5. Kardashian’s enormous derriere, a morose riddle, elides some-a Derrida’s sermons: “I has dark shark”

4. Meme: Me, me, me!

3. Ed Snowden scoops spooks, wow: Ed’s won

2. T-Swift’s “1989” LP sells 9,891 LP’s swiftly

1. Rand Paul? “Zebras are a breeze” –Rand Paul

(Feel free to give this list a standing ovation, as it is obviously one of the greatest things ever to appear on the internet.)