Just sold some wine.

The Bangles came on the wine shop’s radio — “Eternal Flame” — and I sang along for a few seconds.

Then I sold 7 bottles of wine in like one minute (not kidding).

“It’s amazing, the things they can do with wine.”

Gamay is one of the best kind of wines. It’s a red wine. They’re pouring a nice Gamay this evening. It came all the way from France to make you happy. I like Gamays. It’s light, almost like white wine, but it’s red. Amazing how that wine-stuff works.

On the way over to the shop, I was listening to “Why” by Jadakiss. He asks a lot of questions in that song!

Guess where I am? Here’s a hint: “Tannins.”

Oh snap they just changed the music in the store to a new Pandora station, and guess what song it is? A classic: “Closer I Am To Fine” (or, “Closer! I Am Too Fine”) by the Gilmore Girls.

LET’S DO THIS — YOU LOVE WINE I LOVE WINE — COME ON IN LET’S MAKE MAGIC
 

 

This is from 2005:

I figured, the New Yorker likes funny cartoons about bums and homeless people; I like punk rockers; everybody likes Merlot … therefore, this cartoon will satisfy everyone and I will become a famous New Yorker cartoonist.

Why did I abandon this project? 🙁

Here’s another treasure I stumbled upon while taking a stroll through my computer’s hard drive. At some point I wanted to make a web site called “Bloody Yet Whimsical Cartoons About Punks”:

I figured if I made enough masterpieces like this one, eventually the New Yorker would publish me.

By the way, should I try to get hired as a professional giraffe-drawer? Because I truly drew the shit out of that giraffe. Can you believe I didn’t even use a live model??? I did it from memory (I have a photographic memory).

I’m rummaging through my old desktop computer and I keep stumbling upon treasures:

Look at this incredible drawing I made!

America, I have heard your prayers. I’ll be selling wine and liveblogging about it tomorrow (Friday) from 4:00 – 7:00 PM EST.

Get ready to buy wine and read about yourself on the internet. Yes, it’s the future, just relax and enjoy it.

Thanks.

PS: Saw “Daybreakers” (futuristic zombie-vampire movie in which everyone has turned into vampires and humans are harvested for blood and they hit a “peak oil”-type of situation with human blood and scramble to synthesize a human-blood substitute and rich people drink blood out of big wine glasses and Willem Dafoe fails to act his way out of a paper bag) at the $2 theatre last night. My verdict? 2.5 bite-marks.

PPS: You should see what highschool chum and #1 fan MH is drawing in my kitchen. Holy Toledo! I will try to take an illegal photo of it and post it … (Yes, I am running a five-day micro-Yaddo for my artist friend.)

Why oh why didn’t I liveblog transferring all my emails from one computer to another yesterday? It would’ve been riveting:

1:24 PM Oh I remember this email from that one guy. Now it’s on my desktop computer …. NOW IT’S ON MY LAPTOP

I just transferred 40,000+ emails from a desktop computer to a laptop computer using a 500 MB USB flash drive-thing. It took all day. Then I went into some directory on my hard drive and futzed with something I shouldn’t have futzed with and I just lost all the email people have sent me in the last month.

If you sent me an email in the last 30 days, I don’t have it. I’m really sorry. There were some important emails which now I am scrambling to remember before my mind goes blank.

All this to say, if you sent me a nice email message of a personal (or liveblog-feedbackery) nature, it is GONE. Please excuse the fact that I cannot reply to it, and send it again.