Am I The Next Nate Silver?

Everyone’s talking about my polls — are they better than Is my data more incredible? Are my spreadsheets bigger, with better fonts? Are my number bigger, with so many digits you can’t believe your eyes?

Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes. And yes and yes!

Am I the next Nate Silver?


Check out this NYTimes article about Silver. His dad recalls an incident from childhood:

“When we took him to preschool one time, we dropped him off, and he announced, ‘Today, I’m a numbers machine,’ and started counting,” Brian Silver said. “When we picked him up two and a half hours later, he was ‘Two thousand one hundred and twenty-two, two thousand one hundred and twenty-three…’ ”

Are you kidding me? Homeboy spent all day counting, and only made it into the 2,000s? You leave me alone all day, I’ll count right through the 2,000s and into the 4,000s! Nate Silver thinks he’s a counting machine? I’M A COUNTING MACHINE. I’ll count circles around Nate Silver!

Anytime, anyplace, Nate Silver. You and me. Two-man count-off. On your mark, get set, COUNT. (And good thing your name is silver, because that’s the color of the medal you’ll receive — SILVER. Because the GOLD medal is going to ME.)

I’m so disgusted with the liberal media right now, I can’t count straight.

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