Inspired by Richard Perle, I decided to treat myself to a nice, long reflection. I went into the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror.

I said, “Mirror, please show me my true reflection.”

Nothing. Just the image of some random white guy.

Then I remembered the old rhyme: “Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who’s got the best reflection of all of them?”

And sure enough — SNAP! — just like that, the mirror offered up my reflection:

A man, wide-eyed with wonder; a few wrinkles around the mouth; a gray hair here and there; a piece of broccoli (OK, a whole floret) stuck in my teeth; a chin that really should jut out more, if I ever want to get this whole “Bicycle-Helmet Model” career off the ground.

The reflection may not be pretty, but that doesn’t mean it’s not true.

As the old-timers say, “Beauty is as beauty does, but ugly goes straight to your bones.” In other words, “Homegirl, you look ugly and you might have bone cancer.” (Worst oncologist ever?)

REFLECTIONS!!!