LOL, this guy has mastered the subtle art of verbal diplomacy! Let’s drop him into the middle of delicate geopolitical negotiations and see what happens! “What kind of shitty name is Ashgabat?”

No, I did not just randomly slap my hands against my computer keyboard … “Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedov” is someone’s actual name … and that someone is the president of Turkmenistan!

Remember crazy ol’ Turkmenbashi, the “Daddy of Turkmenistan,” who re-named the months of the year after his family (true) and built a statue of himself that always rotates to face the sun (true) and all that stuff? Anyway, he died. And Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedov has replaced him. Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedov is not as harsh as Turkmenbashi, but he (Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedov) still has some issues. Basically, Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedov has promised a bunch of human rights reforms (haven’t we all) but has been a bit slow in actually gittin-r-done.

On the other hand, Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedov recently met with Henry Kissinger at the Plaza Hotel! So maybe he’s serious about human rights after all, LOL!

Turkmenistan is a country in Central Asia. They have lots of gas. Europe wants the gas to heat its bistros and cafes and tapas bars and whatnot. But Turkmenistan is a leeetle bit sketchy.

Ladies and gentlemen, do we have a moral dilemma on our hands???

It got so busy I couldn’t blog. I don’t think that has ever happened before. And the shop is still standing … and there’s more wine to sell … so for now, I say “Happy Thanksgiving” and I will talk with you soon …

Holy smokes, I’ve never seen anything like this … insanity … so many bottles flying out of the shop … we are deep into “off the hook” territory … compass needles spinning every which way … chaos … highlight so far was hearing “Ooh Child” by the Five Stairsteps (?) pumping through the speakers while ringing  up a mixed case … “the good life …”

Just sold a bottle of 2009 Madone Beaujolais Nouveau … I was able to recommend it to a customer because I drank some the other night … so fresh and tasty … I think “nouveau” means that the grapes are brand new, like they were just on the vine like three weeks ago … and now they’re all up in some bottle of wine … what will they think of next … let’s do this, let’s sell all the wine … it’s the holidays, we’re poppin’ bottles … “make it rain on ’em…” Man, what if Lil Wayne came in here and bought some wine, how amazing would that be? … guess who’d blog about it? … ME …

The wine shop is open until 8:00 PM tonight … basically it’s gonna be a total rave … just found out from the owner that we’re flying in THE ORB to play a live set … (joke) … but seriously, does anyone remember that band? … they were a big rave band, I think … I saw them in England once, at an outdoor music festival in a field … yes, it’s true, I’ve had  an interesting life … you people think you know me, but you don’t … because did you even know that I used to drive a Volkswagen hatchback in high school, and it didn’t even have a radio? … “pay attention, you might learn something …”

So I invented an amazing sandwich this afternoon at the wine shop: Tuna, kale, tomatillo salsa, and hot sauce … so delicious and refreshing … I made a version for the wine shop owner and SHE LOVED IT … and she even went to the CIA (the food one, not the torture one), so she knows what she’s talking about … and she said “Why don’t you blog about your sandwich?” (she knows about my little blog) … and the rest is history … I made a sandwich and everyone loves it and I’m the greatest of all time …

Jackson Five on the wine store radio … people buying wine … we’re moving bottles … let’s do this …

It’s all about wine … someone just bought a half case … it was my pleasure to give them a 10% discount … “and you can take that to the bank– the WINE bank.”