They do things differently over there.

(By “over there,” I mean “Mars.”)

LOL, if only the people in this video were enjoying themselves.

By the way, LOL, is the lead guitarist holdin’ shit down very hard at 3:42 – 3:51?

PS: You know what I just realized? This Sleater-Kinney gig was at the Cat’s Cradle in Carrboro, NC! TARHEELS REPRESENT!!! How we do!!! (Go to Visart after the show, rent a video . . . LOL, that’s some local knowledge I just dropped.)

FRIDAY FACE-OFFS! EVERYONE GET ON STAGE!!!

Teacher of the year. (0:57)

Can I just say? That guitar tone? Sounding not very bad-ass? Also, sounding very QUIET? Mom’s probably happy when the band rehearses while she’s trying to watch her shows? Because when that band rehearses? It’s probably pretty easy to hear Alex Trebek? Because that guitar is quiet???

One more thing? Girls in the audience? Screaming pretty quietly at the end? Dudes in the band, probably feeling pretty sad about that?

One final thing? Lead singer? Kickin’ very much ass? Voice sounding weak? Tummy looking small at 3:20?

Remember how I said tempo was crucial to a successful performance of “Fortunate Son?”

This guy totally nails it:

LOL, I hope you didn’t think this guy didn’t own a copy of the original “Fortunate Son” 45 RPM single. LOL, if you thought that, this video must make you sooo mad and frustrated!!!

Another thing about this video: BEST TRACKING SHOT OF ALL TIME? Better than “Touch of Evil?” Better than “Russian Ark?” See, this is how you KNOW the dude owns a copy of the single — one take, baby. No cuts. Zoom on the label: BAM. Then he starts moving the record towards the turntable, and you’re like, “Awww shit, we’re about to hear a hot jam,” and then, before you know it: BAM. The record has been placed upon the turntable. Basically, at this point the dude officially enters “I’m-about-to-set-it-off” mode.

And then: BAM, the highlight of the video — 0:15, when he’s like, “I’m outta here; nobody wants to see me — they want to see my “Fortunate Son” 45 RPM single, which I totally own!”

At that point, it’s basically all about you watching a digital video of an analog record spinning around . . . and enjoying a quality jam.

But then the most amazing thing of all time happens: 0:53 – 1:05.

And then . . . what can I say? 1:37 – 1:50. (Was the guy very pumped and excited when he did that? He was probably thinking, “Fuck it, you only live once. Let’s give ’em something to remember.”)

HONORABLE MENTION:

FRIDAY FACE-OFFS! WE’RE SPINNING AROUND AND AROUND!!!

Dinosaurs and debates! Wow, I thought we couldn’t pull off a week crazier and wackier than last week, but we did. Hooray for us.

But now the week draws to a close. Saturday and Sunday beckon us. Must we drive to Pennslyvania to knock on peoples’ doors for hours and hours? We must. But before we do, we shall draw inspiration from:

Friday Face-Offs.

Welcome to the THIRD INSTALLMENT of an internet legend!

This week’s FRIDAY FACE-OFF is: “Fortunate Son” by Creedence Clearwater Revival. Watch the original version here:

Guys, I have watched dozens and dozens of versions of “Fortunate Son” over the past few weeks. And one thing I’ve come to appreciate is: TEMPO IS EVERYTHING WITH THIS SONG. If you’re playing a straight-up arrangement of this song, you better hit this tempo exactly or it’s gonna fall apart and sound like ass. Kudos to Creedence Clearwater Revival for nailing this tempo.

Another thing I’ve come to appreciate is that I have the world’s best taste in music. This is one of my all-time favorite jams, and you know what? FULLY JUSTIFIED. This song is, basically, four dudes holding down a groove so freakin’ hard you can’t believe it and you can’t get up.

One more thing: People always talk about this song’s relevance vis a vis our current President. I never talk about that.

Why?

Because that man doesn’t deserve to be in the same conversation as this all-American jam.

Check back later this morning for our first contestant. . .

FRIDAY FACE-OFFS! WE BRING IT STRONG LIKE DINOSAURS!!!