Guys, I made an error. Reader MD notes that The Plague takes place in Algeria, not France, although back in the day, Algeria was considered part of France, which means back in the day people didn’t know how to look at a map and see where shit actually was.

Reader BG sends along an article which contains one of the greatest pieces of photojournalism I’ve ever seen.

I want to be best friends with everyone in that montage. Please, if you are one of those people, contact me so we can eat stuff and talk about zombie movies.

Key Food, you’re looking better than ever! No more Whole Foods! Right-wing maniac trying to sell me cauliflower for $14.99 a pound? I don’t think so.

I’m putting Whole Foods on my GROCERY SHOPPING DEATH PANEL.

(LOL, the best thing is there isn’t even a Whole Foods where I live so I can boycott them and suffer 0% inconvenience. I WIN AGAIN.)

Okay, so last night in The Plague, the doctor was lancing a boil on an old man. The old man said, “Hey doc, I bet you love the Tour De France!”

And the doctor said, “Why, because we live in France?”

And the old man said, with pus and plague-juice dribbling out of his boil, “No, because LANCE ARM STRONG! (Because you LANCE boils well, because your ARM is STRONG.)”

Hello, where do I pick up my Nobel Prize for “best joke about a book that won the Nobel Prize?” (Assuming The Plague won the Nobel Prize because it’s GREAT.)
 

For everyone “dying” to know what happens next in The Plague— last night was a bit of a snooze. The town priest gave a sermon where first he was like, “The plague is all y’all’s fault!” and then went on to be a little nicer about it. It was raining during the sermon. Then the rain stopped and the townspeople went home.

The doctor was walking around lancing boils when he ran into ol’ whats-his-name, the guy from earlier in the book. They talked for awhile about stuff.

At this point I was getting a little bored, wondering when more people were gonna die. But then there was a commotion out in the streets! People were trying to escape from town! They wanted to break out of Plague City, USA (France).

At that point, konk overtook me and I had to sleep.

More updates later if I remember anything else … this has been your daily installment of The Plague, by Albert Camus … getting pumped for an H1N1 pandemic … everyone better read this book … recognize …

The doctor’s running around trying to help everyone, lancing boils every which way, but it might not be enough … they sealed off the whole town … nobody can get out …Camus is trippin’ on this one … more updates soon … WELCOME TO PLAGUE-VILLE …

Would anyone like me to turn their car stereo into a speakerphone? I think I could do it.

Knee-deep in Albert Camus’ THE PLAGUE … gripping book … it takes place in France(?), in a town that has caught a bad case of the ol’ plague-itis … people dropping left and right … I’ll let you know what happens just as soon as I find out!

If you support horrible socialized medicine where every doctor has to take the Communist Pledge and they ration health care so only poor people and blacks are allowed to be healthy, then today is your day to call Congress and demand a robust public option!!!

Socialists, our time is now! Let’s do this!!!

Click here to begin the revolution.

(Seriously, I made a few calls. It’s not that bad. Better than using the Emergency Room as your primary care physician, at least.)

Thanks to everyone who wrote in to confirm that yes, “Jamba” means “Fart” in Swahili.

From reader MM:

I am not a native of any East African country where residents speak Swahili. However, I can say that “Nani a me jamba?” were some of the first Swahili words I learned during my 3 month stint in Tanzania in 2003. The translation being: “Who farted?”

From reader IC (among many others):

This seems to be a credible source.

It means “to break wind loudly”, “fart,” “intestinal wind.”

Also, the Swahili word for non-poisonous juice is “utomvu”. Poisonous juice of the mutpa plant is “utupa”.

So perhaps … “Jamba Utomvu” would be Loud Fart Juice.

From reader MS:

Just googling “Swahili fart” brings up a lot of hits with jamba.

Why is this one of the funniest sentences I’ve ever read?