Key Food, you’re looking better than ever! No more Whole Foods! Right-wing maniac trying to sell me cauliflower for $14.99 a pound? I don’t think so.

I’m putting Whole Foods on my GROCERY SHOPPING DEATH PANEL.

(LOL, the best thing is there isn’t even a Whole Foods where I live so I can boycott them and suffer 0% inconvenience. I WIN AGAIN.)