Hello readers! This week’s PUNCHLINE POLL is up at True/Slant.

Last week’s winning punchline (“If Bill Kristol says America can still ‘win’ in Afghanistan, then they can. That guy’s right about everything.“) has advanced to the next joke: Martians & The Health-Care Debate. Can it survive another week?

Vote early, vote often! Polls are open until Friday!

CNN.com, “Stressful Jobs That Pay Badly.”

Social worker

Median pay: $43,200

% who say their job is stressful: 72%

Social workers step in when everyone else steps aside to help people and families in vulnerable situations. They provide patients with education and counseling, advise care givers and make referrals for other services. And with social workers in short supply and programs underfunded, few must juggle the work of many, while reaping little reward.

Just ask Heather Griffith, a social worker who works with children in intensive foster care in Boston: “You’re getting paid $12 an hour and kids are screaming at you, telling you that you are just in it for the money and you’re just like, really?“

Penguin is paying Jonah Goldberg one million dollars for his next book.

So excited! Tonight, after years of waiting and google-stalking, I’m finally gonna see THE ROAD, the movie based on the famous novel by Cormac McCarthy.

In case you don’t know, THE ROAD is about a dad (“Joe Normal”) and his son (“The Kid”) as they make their way through a post-apocalyptic funhouse known as the future! I love post-apocalyptic movies and zombies and hopelessness and all that, so I am STOKED!!!

Please don’t email me saying the movie sucks and the music is too intrusive and the ending is too happy and that Omar’s in it! I know all that! I don’t care if the theme music is “Life Is A Highway And I Wanna Ride It All Night Long,” I just wanna see this goddamn movie!

I’ll post a full review next week! (Don’t worry, I won’t write it in Cormac-Bible-ese parody-style … I’ll write it in my normal writing voice, which is this voice.)

Maybe we’ll have a little more fun with Turkmenistan next week, too. That’s all for now, except for this, my favorite Vivaldi:

Have a nice weekend.

Don’t forget, tonight is your last chance to vote in this week’s PUNCHLINE POLL! The more voters we have, the stronger our mandate for change!

Winning punchline advances to next week’s joke!

Thanks from your humble and devoted servant,
David Rees

Check out this completely authentic, un-edited footage of Turkmenistan president Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedov leading his cabinet meeting! (Yes, it’s almost impossible to hear … but the visuals are what’s important.)

“This is what democracy looks like!” I grew up in the Episcopal church, so I know what it’s like to constantly stand up and sit down all while holding your hymnal, but these guys take the cake! It’s like whack-a-mole-ocracy!

Please note 0:42 and 1:29, LOL!

Global Witness even translated my comics about the EU/Turkmenistan gas deal into Russian.

LOOK AT THIS:

I was hired by Global Witness to make some cartoons about the pending Turkmenistan-EU gas deal. (Global Witness is a vicious international oil cartel that stops at nothing to draw natural resources out of the ground and maximize profits … or maybe it’s a human rights organization, I can’t remember which.)

Anyway, the cartoons are part of a report being distributed to members of the European Parliament.

LOOK AT THIS:

That’s what my comics look like if you read Turkmen!

Obama’s about to escalate the drama in Afghanistan! Hooray, I can’t wait. To celebrate, please participate in this week’s PUNCHLINE POLL. This week’s joke is called “The Afghan Classroom.”

Remember, it only takes a minute to read the joke and vote on your favorite punchline! And the winning punchline advances to next week’s joke! Take a friend to the polls! (ie, please forward to your friends.)

Polls close Thursday evening.