Hello, Friday Face-Off heads. Just want to apologize for the appalling lack of Friday Face-Offs these past few Fridays.

Don’t worry; Friday Face-Offs is indeed coming back. (I’m thinking maybe next Friday?)

Thanks for your patience and understanding as we endeavor to resolve this situation.

I hope talkingpointsmemo never stops slamming Politico.

I’ve got Wisconsin fever … gonna be a hot time in the ol’ cheese-warehouse tonight … cheddar, you better bring your SHARPEST game, because I’m about ready to GO OFF on some cheese …

When I fly to Wisconsin I’m going to wear my winter boots. (Because of the snow.) But I’ll have to take them off for airport security. Oh boy! I think I’ll tie them very loosely, for easy removal.

SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN.

BREAKING NEWS FROM THE MNFTIU MANSION …

Just got the chance to use one of my favorite phrases! My wife just came into my office (where I was hard at work as always) and she started talking about all this stuff and whatnot and then — she tried to tell me that a PAYDAY isn’t actually a candy bar … “because it has nuts in it.”

ME: “That’s so preposterous I won’t dignify it with a response.”

GOOOOOAAAALLLLL!!!!

What should I wear on my trip to Wisconsin? I’ll definitely bring my winter coat. Long underwear, of course. My brown knit hat that I love wearing all day. Should I pack my brown hoodie? Or is that too much brown? Maybe I’ll wear my new orange hoodie instead. Then I’ll be in high-visibility mode, which could be useful in case of a snow storm…

Headed to Wisconsin this weekend … one of my favorite states … flying to Detroit, then Wisconsin … “Lifestyles of the rich and infamous” …

HERE ARE THE LATEST POLLS ABOUT COLDS!!! MUST CREDIT MNFTIU!!!

POLL #1: Symptoms (sample size = 3,025)
SNEEZES: 59%
SNIFFLES: 24%
COUGHS: 50%
HEADACHE: 33%

POLL #2: Sniffle type (sample size = 20,056)
“Drippy”: 52%
“Snorty”: 29%
“Honker”: 44%
“Slurpy”: 14%
“Old-school, straight-up sniffle”: 36%

POLL #3: “What’s your favorite song about COLDS?” (sample size = 630 music industry insiders)
“Coughing in the Club” (Stetsasonic): 10%
“Sneezy the Factory Worker” (Bruce Springsteen): 12%
“Grab the Kleenex ‘N’ Go” (Bill Hailey and the Comets): 4%
“Blow Your Nose On My Face” (Axl Rose solo career): 30%