2021 was defined by uncertainty and sweeping changes. Is it any wonder, then, that paperweights — with their reassuring stability — were in much demand throughout the year? When chaos swirls all around you, a sturdy paperweight can help anchor your sense of self (and your office papers).

And what better kind of paperweight was there in 2021 than the classic turtle paperweight? Answer: NONE BETTER THAN THE CLASSIC TURTLE PAPERWEIGHT. Any paperweight is a blessing, of course … but a paperweight that looks like a turtle … is a different kind of blessing … one might say it is the greatest blessing of all (relative to paperweights) … it’s so true … I am happy to be typing these words right now … I know many things about paperweights … things you will never understand ……..

Anyway, 2021 was a great year for turtle paperweights! Let’s review (and celebrate) the TOP TEN TURTLE PAPERWEIGHTS OF 2021:

10. Medium-sized turtle paperweights

9. Fucking MASSIVE turtle paperweights

8. When the wind blows and your papers remain secure … thank you turtle paperweights in 2021

7. Paperweights (in the shape of turtles) that brought us happiness in 2021

6. (TIE): Locally sourced turtle paperweights / Shiny brass paperweights that are shaped like, yes, you guessed it: Turtles

5. Turtle paperweights that have been to outer space

4. “Hennnry!” “Yes, dear?” “Where did you put the nice turtle paperweights?” “In the corner cabinet, why?” “Because the Coopers are coming for dinner.”

3. When the turtle paperweights were looking so damn good in 2021

2. Some of the finest ones (of T.P.s)

1. World-class turtle paperweights that are second to none