Best Of 2020: PARABLES

When we look back on this year, what will be the parables of 2020? But first, we must define “parables.”

Parables are an ancient way of making sense of our world and our surroundings through simple stories. From the Good Samaritan to Jack and Jill (who went up the hill for to fetch a pail), students of history and scholars of tomorrow must all agree that the power of parables is how they explain and humanize our human experience. For instance, when Aesop told his famous parables about animals (called “fables”), all who heard his words were edified and walked away with a deeper understanding of what it meant to be human — no matter the cost!

A simple example from history will suffice to make this clear:

Just imagine … it’s ancient times. You work in a market and weave baskets to sell. Your home is a little clay house and you get your water from a mighty aqueduct. After a long day selling your wares, you go to the town square for an evening’s entertainment, for Aesop is scheduled to deliver one of his famous parables … he takes the stage in the center of the crowd and begins … he says he will share a brand-new parable about a tortoise and a hare who have decided to run a race … you chuckle to yourself and think, “Aesop has gone mad … for what hope has a mere tortoise, to run in a race against a hare? That tortoise will surely be defeated, this parable will suck” … but the parable begins, and you are spellbound … Aesop speaks of how the tortoise and the hare were in a dispute as to their swiftness, with the hare being very mean (sarcastic) to the tortoise, so they decided to race against one another … at first, the hare was the swifter of the two, but the tortoise nevertheless kept moving forward on his tiny legs … and then, after a few minutes, the hare started moving slower and slower, and the tortoise increased his speed, and so at the last moment, the tortoise actually won the race … because turtles are actually faster than rabbits! … the crowd is stunned … you fall to your knees screaming — you cannot withstand the intensity of this parable … your neighbors do likewise, all have been shattered by the unexpected conclusion of this simple parable … Aesop delights in your terror, he laughs at the cowering throng, shouting now to be heard above their wailing … “YOU HAVE NOW LEARNED A VALUABLE LESSON, YOU DAMN ANCIENT IDIOTS,” he yells … (and then he keeps talking) … “THE TORTOISE IS FAST AND THE HARE (RABBIT) IS SLOW — WELCOME TO MY WORLD (HELL), YOU DAMN FOOLS WHO THOUGHT YOU WERE SO SMART AND KNEW EVERYTHING” … the screaming from the crowd continues, for everything they have ever been taught, all they have ever held to be true, vanishes in a mere instant … Aesop, the Master of Horror, has shared another of his sickening tales birthed from his perverted mind! You will not soon forget this moment! You are in ancient times!

Anyway, here are the TOP TEN PARABLES (OR FABLES) OF 2020:

10. The parable of how everything was bad

9. Thought-provoking parables that make ya go “Hmm”

8. Light-hearted parables that celebrate the funny side of 2020

7. Animals can talk and make mistakes like people do (fables)

6. The parable of “you reap what you sow”

5. (TIE) Parables of greed / Parables of having fun

4. “Let us build a house of straw, for that shall remind us of strawberries”

3. When winter comes, stay warm like a bear

2. Parables that strike at the heart of the matter

1. Legendary parables of 2020