From the runways of Milan to the edgy sidewalks of Bushwick, from the streets of Tokyo to the boulevards of Paris, fashion was all about raw energy in 2016 — and raw energy is always where it’s at.
Fashion is the most intimate of art forms: It literally “clothes” us in creativity. Whether it’s a new scarf from a fashion-forward boutique or a handsome blazer scored from a vintage shop, if it’s fashion you’re after, then you’ll always find what you’re looking for … after a fashion.
And 2016 was no different. We saw styles that separated the men from the boys … the bridesmaids from the brides … the goats from the ghosts (this is fashion-insider lingo, I bet). The point is, when it comes to stylish clothes? Fashion is still the only game in town.
Here are the TOP TEN FASHIONS OF 2016:
10. Raggedy-ass fashions no sane person would ever wear, i.e. the definition of “hot mess,” i.e. don’t burn your fingers on that mess — it’s THAT hot — Tsssss! (sizzle sound) … ACK! I tried to warn you! Now your fingers are burned and I need to drive you to the hospital — my soup will get cold on account of this inconvenience! All because of that stank-fart outfit nobody would ever wear … I hereby take a lifelong pledge of “extreme nudity” in protest of these failed fashions … chicken noodle soup
9. Decent fashions
8. Men’s fashions
7. Comfortable fashions
6. (TIE) Shoes / Dressy women’s fashions
5. Red-carpet looks showcasing blue-collar authenticity*
4. Mom and Dad got dressed up to go out to dinner
3. When the end comes, just make sure I look good and am wearing my FINAL FASHIONS
2. Fashions we can believe in
1. No joke? The greatest fashions ever created, bar none, gold medal for these fashions
(*This description came to me in a burst of inspiration, I think I have cracked the code of fashion with this entry.)