ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER UMBRELLA MISHAP. You see it all around you: Good umbrellas gone bad. One of the modern world’s delights is to watch a fancy person in nice clothes struggle with his or her umbrella. And is it just my imagination, or was 2012 AN AMAZING YEAR FOR UMBRELLA MISHAPS? Some day historians will tell us if 2012 was one of the top ten years for umbrella mishaps — in the meantime, let’s assume it was, because, really, how amazing were some of those mishaps?
Movie stars, rappers, politicians, and talk show hosts all had something to say about umbrella mishaps this year, and we were happy to listen!
Here are the TOP TEN UMBRELLA MISHAPS OF 2012:
10. Wind blows umbrella into another umbrella in 2012
9. Rain falls through hole in umbrella in 2012
8. Umbrella won’t open, then later in an elevator it opens without being touched in 2012
7. Umbrella drips water all over fancy restaurant, waiter slips on water: “Who left this umbrella here in 2012?”
6. “Lousy good for nothing umbrella!!!” (2012)
5. Credit card is declined while trying to buy umbrella
4. Open umbrella, dead bird falls out — bald eagle, you are sued by the Government for killing our heritage-bird in an umbrella
3. Wind turns umbrella inside out, man laughs at you from across the street, he’s cute, you walk over, he’s the man of your dreams, you start dating and get married, he provides you with healthy children — all because of that crazy umbrella
2. Umbrella breaks
1. The wildest umbrella mishaps