Minute To Win It Liveblogging, Part I

8:28 PM Now we’re looking for my Mom’s stmp server. We’re confused.

8:26 PM Here they go! Oh, wait, now we gotta learn about Scott and Ursula(?)’s office romance? Dad: “How long does this go on?” Me: “An hour.” Dad: “Oh my gosh.”

8:25 PM Next challenge: “Office Fling.” Rubber bands and office chair make a slingshot of terror. Guys watching at home, can we agree that is a REALLY shiny red desk?

8:24 PM He’s bouncing pencils into glasses like a madman. He nailed it for five grand. Man, those pencil points must be all banged up … hmm, wonder if there’s a way to get them looking ship-shape again … (WINKY-SMILEY EMOTICON GOES HERE)

8:22 PM Pencil-related challenge, my world is collapsing … MOM: “This is perfect for you, dear.” Guy Fieri: “This is a doozie.” I’m SO hosting this show someday.

8:18 PM Commercial break! Time to ask my Mom what ISP she uses so I can send some emails to people. NEWSBREAK: It’s Time-Warner.

8:16 PM I think Fieri re-bleached his hair for this episode. Now he’s talking about the famous TV show called “The Humorous Office,” starring Steve Carrell and a bunch of other people. And now we’re hearing about how these contestants are like a real-life Jim and Patty(?) or whoever the cuties on the Office are … now they’re playing for FIVE GRAND …

8:15 PM Scott did it!!! 3 balls in 3 binder clips! My mom clapped. I woulda clapped too, but I’m busy liveblogging over here! (Ratso Rizzo voice FTW)

8:14 PM Now Scott will try to roll the ping-pong balls into the binder clips. North Carolina, represent! Come on, dude! Where’s that Tar Heel spirit? Where’s that Charlotte Hornets teal-pinstripe spirit? JR REID…

8:13 PM BRUTAL slo-mo replay on the binder-clip travesty. That hurt.

8:12 PM Whoa, this woman is a genius at dripping ping-pong balls down an incline into binder clips … although, wait — she’s knocking the balls OUT OF THE BINDER CLIPS NOW … “From genius to fool, the worm turns for the best of us.” Mad groans coming from the “parent-peanut gallery.” LEVEL 2 FAILED …

8:11 PM I’ve been trapped in airports all day so I’m just catching up on emails and all the wonderful and diverse comments in the LAT article. OMG making me sooo happy.

8:10 PM Office version of pinball! Using binder clips and ping-pong balls! I think MTWI is single-handedly keeping the ping-pong ball business in business.

8:09 PM Breaking news from the Rees household: We’re going out to dinner tomorrow night. GET PSYCHED. We’re eating in Carrboro. Dad: “Whenever I go out to eat, I gotta be within spitting distance of the Cat’s Cradle, because I loved Archers of Loaf.” (Joke, he did not say this.)

8:07 PM Dad: “I think I’d make a great contestant.” This is basically the most false statement ever uttered by a retired art librarian.

8:05 PM He’s gotta knock over reams of copy paper using a ball. This is truly an office-supply game for cavemen. He just made $1,000! “Yours to keep no matter what.”

8:03 PM “What do you think of this host, mom?” Mom: “I love him. He looks like a chef.” Mom FTW.

8:02 PM Office supplies are tonight’s tools for MITWI. These contestants are from Charlotte, NC’s banking metropolis, and I am liveblogging from Chapel Hill, NC’s indie-rock metropolis! My dad is already freaking out — “How much money do they win?” Me: “Up to a million dollars.” Big ol’ snort coming from Dad!!!

8:01 PM Minute to Win It special office-game edition! Total chaos, total energy! And there’s ol’ Guy Fieri! My foe. Thinks he’s great b/c he had a NYTimes article about him today. Well guess what, Guy? I was up in the LA Times today!!! Mate? Checkmate? Game on? “Tha Mystery of Chessboxing.”

8:00 PM Nothing can keep me from Minute To Win It! And tonight we have guest commentators: My mom and dad! This is it … the ultimate in liveblogging!