Oylmip Wine-Blogging Part V

11:56 PM “The Russian streak is over.” China on the rise.

11:48 PM Has it really been 3+ hours of blogging? I’m getting tired. I’m more tired than an ice-skater on a downhill luge with fifty snowflakes flying out of their butt.

11:43 PM I think we’re gonna see some Chinese people on the podium tonight. THey did good.

11:42 PM Finally! SOmeone got thrown in the air and spun around and didn’t fall down. Feels good. These two are rippin’ the ice to shreds. Shit is about get melted into water, son.

11:40 PM Are you kidding me with how far that guy just threw that girl up in the air when they were on ice skates?

11:36 PM Mr. Brown Trousers did pretty well … damn, bro, talk about your “buns of steel” … the cameraman just got an eyeful …

11:34 PM Yulia Tymoshenko

11:33 PM Mad upside-down shit goin’ on right now … the woman’s hair reminds me of that one lady from Ukraine … you know who I’m talking about? The Princess Leia blonde woman?

11:32 PM Figure-skater-wearing-brown-trousers alert …

11:27 PM Strong finish by the RUssians, but still … “Fine line between wanting it and wanting it too much …” Maybe that will be the Russians’ downfall? “Surprisingly disappointing performance”– just like this live-blog, NOT!!!

11:23 PM The Russians are looking solid … good leg extension … he’s dragging her around by the leg … now they’re smiling … she skates for Russia but she was born in Japan … for her, skating comes first … audience is clapping along, in the spirit of the moment … ACK SHE BUSTED FLAT ON HER ASS … OMG now he’s holding her upside-down!!! “Not prepared for a performance like this at all” … maybe they got in over their heads?

11:21 PM Here they come: The RUssians. Can anyone stop them? They’re in the #1 position right now … they will skate last … WAIT … they’re skating NOW … repeat … Russains skating NOW …

11:19 PM Costas going DEEP on the figure-skating analysis … of course, my attention is fixated on a certain pocket square … why does it make me laugh so much? I dunno, but I like it … goddamn what is this guy talking about, I can’t even focus on ice-skating analysis anymore … He’s like, “In pair skating, two must skate as one…” What is this, Kung-Fu For The Chicken Soup of the Soul? Am I right or what people …

11:16 PM Did I just watch a commercial about a special faucet that you can turn on with … your hands? Huh??? And now here’s goddamn Morgan “Migraine” Freeman going on about VISA once again … ENOUGH …

11:13 PM Watching a mini-documentary about this American snowboard woman who lost the gold medal last time b/c she tried to do a front-side ollie or whatever (some kind of trick like in Thrasher magazine) and she busted on her ass and came in second … now she’s back and ready for GOLD … we wish her peace and all blessings in her quest …

11:08 PM Of course he has a soul patch. That brings the count to 5.

11:08 PM “Back-to-back golds for Seth Wescott.”

11:07 PM Guys, seriously, snowboarding is jammin’. I didn’t know you could pass a guy while snowboarding.



11:05 PM This American guy Seth Wescott (sp) is about to maybe win back-to-back golds in snowboard-related program activities … let’s see what happens … it’s for the medal, now … snowboard cross or whatever the hell it’s called … uh-oh, Wescott in fourth … Nate HOlland is DOWN … no chance for a medal … Seth Wescott passes the French guy … go Wescott … comin’ up … oh shit, Wescott is burning … OH FUCK OH SHIT

11:01 PM Whoa… they showed a little teaser about Russian figure skating that was so intense I got a little scared … can anyone stop the Russians?