Olympics Liveblogging!

8:49 PM Dude, unless they do ice-dancing or downhill skiing, I’m not trying to watch polar bears right now … put one on a snow board and crank up the Slipknot, then maybe I’d pay attention. Dude, what if we found out that polar bears’ favorite band was Slipknot? That would be trippy. (SLipknot is that band where they all wear scary masks, it’s kind of like Blue Man Group meets Limp Bizkit.) Another thing I thought of today was, if you like Monopoly but you hate the letter “O,” they should make a special version of that game for you called “Manapaly.” OMG live-blogging is INCREDIBLE … Now Bob Costas is talking about endangered polar bears: “THey wander around town? Cute and adorable as they are, you don’t want to cross their path.” No ladies and gentlemen, he’s not talking about the Kardashians, he’s talking about polar bears! LOL rimshot FTW Olympics up in the house!!! Uh-oh I think I just finished the merlot …

8:43 PM Bob Costas is interviewing some lady about Canada. Excuse me, I’m not trying to read WIkipedia, I’m trying to watch people mess around in the snow and win medals … BORRRRING …

8:42 PM There’s gonna be a show where famous people learn their ancestors were losers … on NBC … just saw the promo!!!

8:41 PM Absolutely not feeling this Olympics tie-in to some dumb Dreamworks CGI movie …

8:40 PM Bob Costas in the house! I didn’t know he was still broadcasting. Looks pretty old, LOL. Love this guy. Pocket square looks positively psychedelic.

8:39 PM Bode Miller wins Bronze. “I was pretty nervous this morning. That’s not unusual for me.” I feel you, brah.


8:37 PM This wine is so good, I can’t even tell when I’m being sarcastic.

8:37 PM It’s amazing how TV commercials can tell an entire story in just a few seconds.

8:36 PM Loving this McDonald’s commercial. My mom would be mad crying right now … she loves commercials like this …

8:35 PM Defago wins the gold in men’s skiing.

8:34 PM WIPE-OUT … we have a wipe-out … RObby Dixon just fell down on his skis … our prayers go out to his family …

8:32 PM Oh no, Cuche (my new fave) couldn’t pull it off … 6th place … anyway I like him the best because he’s a little older than everyone and that’s how I feel sometimes … “Old men can still rock!” I’m gonna get that printed on a shirt.

8:30 PM Dudes we got an old man on the slopes … 35 years old … you know I’m rooting for this guy … his name is D. Cuche … RIP IT BRAH!!! “He learned the value of hard work … his family lived on a farm…” DO this, do this … “still very much in the mix …” C’mon dude, make that snow fly!!!

8:29 PM GOddamn I’m live-blogging the hell out of these Olympics!

8:28 PM Arrrgh when can we hold the Overratedbandolympics? Velvet Underground will sweep with 100 gold medals.

8:27 PM Lou Reed song in an AT&T commercial? When can we all admit that guy’s a total fraud?

8:26 PM This Stephen Vincent merlot is drinking really well. Not too fruity; perfect for the snow! (Hardcore mnftiu-headz know merlot is my gold-medal pick for the Wino-lympics.)

8:25 PM Defago just took the lead. Now he’s screaming and whooping like a maniac.


8:22 PM Now Didier Defago is skiing in the snow. He’s the guy in the red snowsuit.

8:21 PM The Olympics are going great!!!

8:18 PM Commercial live-blog: Looks like there’s gonna be a new Gilmore Girls or something? Huh.

8:15 PM Bodie for the gold in cop-car-window-kicking-out-ing:

One of the most exciting scenes of the entire Olympics. Goosebumps!

8:14 PM Bode Miller takes the lead in men’s downhill ski-racing!!!

8:12 PM Bode Miller is racing downhill on skis. Whenever the announcer says “Bode,” I imagine he’s talking about Bodie from the Wire.