Punchline Poll: Exit Polls Suggest Historic Win For Incumbent Punchline

Please don’t forget to vote in this week’s PUNCHLINE POLL!

Last week’s winning punchline is still polling strong at 76%! We may have a historic back-to-back victory blowout on our hands!

Here are the results as of 2:52 PM:

Punchline #1: “If Bill Kristol says America can still ‘win’ in Afghanistan, then they can. That guy’s right about everything.” (Last week’s winner.) (76%, 454 Votes)

Punchline #2: “I’m a Martian; what do I care?” (4%, 22 Votes) (You people are crazy; this is the best punchline, this should be crushing. –ed.)

Punchline #3: “The sooner the American empire crumbles, the sooner we can invade and eat their McMansions, which are like hamburgers for us because we’re Martians.” (8%, 45 Votes)

Punchline #4: “I bet Fluu’gorb 5,000 Martian-dollars that China would dominate the 21st century, so it’s in my interest for America to descend into hysteria and over-leveraged military boondoggles. SCORE.” (12%, 73 Votes)

Head over to the polling place to read the joke and cast your vote! Ballot tampering encouraged!

Polls close tomorrow (Friday) …