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David Rees and his various projects

No Justice, Part II: Boycott Jamba Juice!



2:30 PM, 7/16/09

Even MORE no justice? How much more no justice can we take? Thanks to everyone who forwarded this Jamba Juice advertisemo-tainment:

This is an online animated video about going on some kind of stupid “Jamba Juice vacation” in your cubicle.

Couple things:

1. “Bob?” You violated the first law of the GYWO clip art!!! THESE DUDES DON’T HAVE NAMES. It’s “Accounts Receivable” and “Accounts Payable” and that’s IT.

2. The clip art is public domain, of course, anyone can do anything with it … but check out the word balloons! JAMBA JUICE TOTALLY BIT MY GYWO WORD BALLOON STYLE! Rounded-edge text box with single line pointing to mouth? I developed that in 2001 using Quark XPress 4!!! THAT’S MY SHIT!!! Jamba Juice, you’re a bunch of BALLOON-BITERS.

3. First person to sue Jamba Juice on my behalf CAN KEEP ALL THE MONEY. All I care about is destroying Jamba Juice and their overpriced dumb-ass juices. EAT A PIECE OF FRUIT, you morons, you’re missing most of the fiber.

4. Whoever made this ad is probably a 22 year-old “creative” at some ad agency in Tech Valley, CA. Way to think outside the box, sonny. Have fun snorting cocaine at the nightclub you go to with your friends who work at Twitter or wherever. And no, Adult Swim will NOT buy your stupid cartoon you’re developing with your housemates about four guys who work at an ad agency but are secretly lobsters.

Goddamn, I need to get Code Pink on the case about this. I’ll take this shit to the Supreme Court and live-blog my own lawsuit. Judge Sotomayor better side with me.

BOYCOTT JAMBA JUICE!

JUICE SUCKS, DRINK WINE

(I’m going to organize a national boycott and DAY OF ACTION for next week. STAY TUNED.)