Emergency Alert! Code Red on the Blog-Alarm! Secretary of Defense Gates wants to cut funding for the F-22 Raptor! Are you kidding me? We’ve gotta save the F-22! This is the greatest fighter jet ever made, y’all!

How will we safeguard the skies without the F-22?

F-22
F-22
F-22
F-22

F-22, we love you, we need you, we need so many of you, more and more and more F-22’s, more than our enemies could ever possibly imagine!

How else will we shoot North Korea’s amazing missiles out of the sky before the explode on us? How else will we shoot Russia right in the face and wipe that smile off their face?

F-22!