Just got off the ol’ fax machine with the hottest Hollywood rumor-faxer … it seems my wildest fantasy has come true: NEW LINE CINEMA is starting production on a feature adaptation of Roberto Bolano’s novel 2666.
2666, which wound up on many critics’ “Best of 2008” lists, is a sprawling novel about people running around Mexico — either attending academic conferences, reporting on boxing matches, or (most often) getting raped and killed and dumped in a ditch.
Book features approx. 1,000 locations; 2,500 speaking parts; and 900,000 tildes.
According to an anonymous New Line exec, adapting the novel for the screen “should be a piece of cake — after all, the book is only like, what? Four thousand pages long? Feh, I’ve read longer novels. No problem.”
MORE EXCITEMENT: The same exec confirmed that the film will be a musical (honoring the late Bolano’s wishes), and will feature melodies from RUSH’s classic rock opera, 2112.
“2666 and 2112, together at last! This thing is gonna blow the doors off the cinemaplex,” said the same exec who keeps giving me all these great quotes. “Just wait until you hear the soundtrack: We’ve got one song called ‘Maquiladora Murder Fiesta’ set to the instrumental ‘YYZ’ — you know, that song from 2112 where (Rush drummer Neil) Peart is banging on the ride cymbal and it sounds like robots with Alzheimer’s disease having orgasms? Forgettaboutit, I can smell the Oscars from here. We’re gonna crush Randy Newman like a [EXPLETIVE] bug.”
Release of “2666/2112” is scheduled for 2012, to coincide with re-release of 2001.
Extensive marketing campaign will feature tagline: “2666/2112/2001 — 2012. Life doesn’t get any better than this.”
Ron Howard is set to direct.
UPDATE: A Rush nerd has informed me that “YYZ” does not appear on 2112; rather, it appears on some other horrible Rush album. I apologize to anyone who mistakenly thought I had the slightest interest.