As our free market comes under deadly assault by the Socialists and the Trotskyists in the White House, we must rally around the principles of innovation, competition, and excellence that made our country great — back when it was a free-market laboratory and not the USSR paradise it’s turning into because of the Leninists known as “The Government.”

If we don’t stand our ground, circle our wagons, and march in a parade, all that we and Ayn Rand have slaved for will be lost.

So I’m proposing we hold a big fashion show and give all the money to the free market. Who’s with me?

I’m going to design a fall line whose dresses, trousers, and jackets will celebrate Ayn Rand’s legacy as well as our continuing “guerilla war” against those who would chop off the legs of the free market and serve them to poor people as “Special Leg-Burgers.”

The textures, colors, and clean lines of my fashion collection will suggest the power, elegance, and intellectual texture of the innovation that can only flourish when government gets out of the way and allows schemers, dreamers, and meme-ers to do what they do best.

Does anyone have Kenneth Cole on speed-dial? If you do, please press your phone button and call him and say, “We need some hot slogans and mottos for our Ayn Rand Fashion Fundraiser.”

Does anyone wait tables at Le Bernaddian (sp)? (That fish restaurant that was on Top Chef last week.) If so, please tell your boss that we need to reserve the restaurant for our after-party dinner with exclusive flavors inspired by Alan Greenspan’s breath.

More details soon …

(If you didn’t know that I’m an unapologetic free-market fundamentalist and budding fashion designer, I’m sorry.)