Admiral William J. Fallon, the Commander in Chief of Central Command (i.e. the guy who is in charge of America&#146s forces in the Middle East, i.e. the guy with the crappiest job in the world) resigned because he was afraid people thought he DISagreed with President Bush&#146s policy of acting like a complete dumbass.

Like I always say: NOTHIN&#146 BUT THE FUNK.

By the way, does anybody know if Adm. Fallon is related to ex-SNL funnyman JIMMY FALLON?

I always found myself charmed by his giggling and incessant eyelash-batting! (I am referring here of course to Jimmy Fallon, not Adm. Fallon.)

You know how, when you talk to someone in the military, and you’re like, “BABY KILLER! THE BLOOD OF A THOUSAND INFANTS WILL CURSE YOUR DREAMS!” and then you wipe your fake blood on them, and then you look around for an American flag TO BURN RIGHT IN THEIR FACE, but you can’t find one, which kind of takes the ol&#146 wind out of your sails… and then you take a deep breath and say:

“Well, in any event, thank you for your service to our country?”

Am I obligated to say that to Jimmy Fallon?

Because: Hoo boy.

Don’t you love it when newspaper columnists get a case of the lazies and try to pad their column by stringing together a bunch of one-sentence paragraphs?

Hoo boy.

There’s no excuse for that.

None whatsoever.

And anyone who disagrees. . .

Doesn’t understand the first thing about right and wrong.

Or anything at all–

Anything.