Putting away the blog in order to concentrate on this movie. It’s just too many frogs to keep track of otherwise.

“Frogs attacking windows? Snakes in chandeliers? Those aren’t exactly normal things.”

“You’re out drinking in that speed boat all day and all night. Well, I hate it.”

“The frogs are driving me crazy, too.”

Interesting racial subtext alert! And “Frogs” begins firing on yet another cylinder …

… meanwhile the frogs are jumping every which way in the swamp.

And now we’re at a dinner party in the mansion, but the daughter can’t stand the sound of all the frogs! “That sound is driving me insane! Won’t they ever stop!”

Now the rich people are complaining about how their taxes are going up because of the anti-pollution regulations. Somebody needs to remake this movie, like, TOMORROW. And fuck M. Night Shyamalan and “The Happening,” nobody’s trying to be scared of a tree waving in the wind. We need some COLD-BLOODED FROG TERROR up in here!!!

“The movie stars Ray Milland, Sam Elliott, Joan Van Ark, and Adam Roarke. Elliott has two “beefcake” scenes in which he removes his shirt and these scenes reportedly helped earn him the title role in the 1976 movie, Lifeguard.”

Tense scene … the ecologist hero is alone in the bog, researching frogs. Now he sees dead frogs … and a can of POISON. Basically, what I think’s happening is that the rich fat asshole with the mansion and all the ne’er do well lazy kids is poisoning all the animals so he can sit on his fat ass in peace and quiet … meanwhile, the frogs are getting ready for an insurrection. That’s my prediction.

DEAD HUMAN BODY ALERT … developing … must credit “Frogs” …

“Frogs was not well received by film critics. Reviews of the film were mixed, and a more recent collation of reviews on Rotten Tomatoes has earned Frogs a “rotten” rating of 21% as of October, 2009.”

Whatever, I’m feeling Frogs. The rich patriarch just said: “You’re right, though, that frog’s gigantic.”

“It seems everyone in our family is all hung up on frogs.” That’s a line of dialogue from the movie … but it also applies to my real life as of right now.

Another great line just dropped: “With all this technology and all my money we still can’t get rid of all these frogs.”

Guys, I think I’m finally ready to make my movie recommendation of the day.

It’s a film from 1972. Directed by George McCowan.

The film … is called “Frogs.”

This film is working on about eleven different levels right now. Look at that shirt!!! It’s one of those special 1970s shirts that doesn’t button all the way up.

FROGS

Another shot of a big frog. My dad: “Let’s get on with it.” LOL, he’s totally ready for some frogs to start MURDERING some rich eco-polluters.

They keep featuring these shots of frogs, soooo big and fat, just watching these rich assholes running rampant over the ecosystem.

I think my mom’s right: I think those frogs are about to GET BUCK.

Now I understand why my dad is into this movie. My parents are really concerned about the environment. They belong to Sierra Club, Wildlife Rescue Fun, Tree-Growers Anonymous, all that stuff.

And so: FROGS.

I keep asking my dad, “What is going on? How do you know about this movie? What’s happening? FROGS?”

My dad’s like, “I saw it on TV one night. It’s why my hair turned white.”

My parents are eating my mom’s homemade peach pie; they can’t take their eyes off of FROGS.

Goddamn, this movie features some fat-ass frogs.

My mom: “The frogs are gonna get after those rich people for taking their land.” MOM FTW.

I’m pretty sad right now!

Anyone who knows my parents is screaming with joy right now. FROGS.