This is my logo for KALE CITY, my fantasy restaurant I’m starting in my mind. Can you make a better logo? Send it to kalecity@artisanalpencilsharpening.com and I will post the best submissions with next week’s recap of America’s Best Restaurant.
Deadline is Sunday night!
Recap is here. You’re invited to design a logo for Kale City!
Hello. A new installment of RELATIONSHAPES is up at the Hairpin. Enjoy!
Somebody stole Guy Fieri’s yellow Lamborghini! This is gonna be the best class war ever.
Just sold a bottle of MERLOT (the best kind of wine) to an elderly gentleman. Turns out he had attended one of our comedy shows.
HIM: “Are you the funny guy?”
ME: “I guess so.”
HIM: “Keep practicing.”
(He was being silly, he knows I’m the best of all time.)
I told him to come to the show on Saturday; I think he will LOVE Todd Barry!
Guys, I’m not gonna lie: I’m bumpin’ NPR pretty hard right now. If you want to buy some wine while listening to the news, now is a great time to stop by the wine shop.
Also, you can follow the wine shop on twitter! This will keep you up-to-date on all their fine wines and wine specials!
A wine salesperson (distributor?) just dropped off a list of wines for sale. Should I order some wine for the store owners, as a surprise?
“Hello, one of your salespersons just dropped off your list of wines. I’d like to place an order for my wine store.”
“Which wines would you like to buy?”
“How about ALL OF THEM.”
Yes, that’s right: I just sold another bottle of wine. It was a white wine. People think you can’t drink white wine in cold weather, but that’s not true. You can drink white wine from February until October.
“And that’s another fact about wine.”
BREAKING … BREAKING … MUST CREDIT MNFTIU.CC … I just made my first sale of the day: THREE BOTTLES. Two red wines and one white wine. I processed that credit card like my name is “Card-Swiper Jones.”
More soon. Buy that wine!!!
Oh, nice — Elliott Smith just came on the store’s internet radio. He’s one of my favorites. It’s definitely feeling mellow up in here all of a sudden.