When will Mike Krzyzewski endorse a presidential candidate? Seriously, how can we make an informed decision without the wisdom of COACH K to guide us?

If Barack Obama wins my home state of North Carolina, I am going to post 100 Tar Heel-themed animated gifs on my blog.

“Despite the pundits, despite the prognosticators, despite the cynicism,” Obama said at the dinner, “we are right here in the hunt in North Carolina. We can win at the top of the ballot in North Carolina. And we win at the bottom of the ballot in North Carolina. We can win in the eastern part of the state and in the western part. We can elect a new Democratic governor here in North Carolina and we can elect a new U.S. senator here in North Carolina.”

“We are right here in the hunt in North Carolina.”

I received this trenchant email from a reader yesterday:

On Friday I bought 1/50th the amount of GYWO books recommended by your weblog. (everyone has to buy fifty copies of my book –ed.) This morning the merchandise arrived in the mail and just this moment the New York Times is reporting that the market is up 11% and the Dow Jones recorded its greatest single-day gains of all time. Are your book sales (combined with ad revenue from your new more-than-warm blog) driving the economic recovery?

Answer: YES.

If you want to save the economy, you know what to do!

Forgot to post this on Friday!

Still waiting . . .

“We’ll canvass this neighborhood and coordinate our GOTV efforts.”

LOL, just got an email with Dean Smith’s endorsement of Barack Obama. LOL, please pull this off, N.C.

LOL, wait — who’s Coach K endorsing? Gotta know that before I make up my mind!!! LOL, LOL, make sure all your flops are in order, Coach K! Gotta get those flops looking just right. So nice and floppy for John McCain!!!

Lawrence, KS is one of the best towns in the whole country! If you’re a friend of mine, you probably remember when I sent you a visitor’s package from the Lawrence Chamber of Commerce to try to convince you to move to Lawrence. Remember when I was all like, “Dude, we’re all moving to Lawrence, it’s so great, forget about NYC, let’s pull up stakes and move to Lawrence and buy old-timey houses and just sit around all day playing Scrabble, we can hang out with this one guy I met when I read at Lawrence, he can show us where to buy food.” Anyway, THANKS FOR NOT MOVING TO LAWRENCE, “FRIENDS!” Now I’m still stuck here in NY, one of the worst states to ever exist. (Just kidding, gotta show love for the Empire State.)

Anyway, because I only grant interviews to the hottest publications in the hottest towns, here’s an interview with one of the best publications in the country! LAWRENCE.COM!

The interview is about my jammin’ new book, did you ever see a picture?

Some freak reader of my blog writes in to CRITICIZE SOMETHING ABOUT MY BLOG?!?!?!?

Dude please bail on the habit of referring to Talking Points Memo as “TPM” w/o a link, as if we’re all hip to nerd political junkie websites. Most of my friends (and I bet yours too, excluding [REDACTED] etc.) don’t know what TPM is (I have to tell them), and they’re people who’d go to your site. . . . No inside baseball, especially w/o links.

WTF, LOL, are you kidding me?!? This guy is gonna second-guess my usage of TPM as shorthand for talkingpointsmemo.com?!?

Here’s what I wrote back to this NUT:

ONLY INSIDE BASEBALL. MY BLOG IS FOR THE POLITICAL/MEDIA ELITE. I’M TRYING TO WEED OUT THE LOSERS, THE IGNORANT! HOW ELSE WILL I BE ABLE TO CHARGE PREMIUM AD DOLLARS?!?!?

Bottom line, if you don’t know what “TPM” is, GET OFF MY BLOG!!! We’re trying to appeal to the most exclusive, most sophisticated blog-reading-always-hitting-“refresh”-ers. I don’t have TIME to explain every little thing to people. I’m operating on a very advanced level . . . a level most people can’t even imagine . . . I’m developing nicknames for political blogs that you couldn’t even comprehend . . .

(By the way, that piece of reader mail was from an OLD FRIEND / PERMANENT NEMESIS. If you send reader mail, I shan’t reply in such an obnoxious fashion.)

Thanks to everyone who came to the reading at WORD on Friday. I think we took it to an intimate, emotional place that blew everyone’s mind (including my own). Remember when people were asking me questions, and I was trying so hard to answer them, and everyone was having so much fun and nodding their heads and looking at each other like, “This guy is the greatest thing since sliced awesome?”

That was the best part!

More events are coming up!