11:51 AM: These hearings need some PASSION, some HEAT … even the bailiff looks bored …
11:58 AM: Judge Grassley calls the first witness: “I call Ms. Sotomayor to the stand!”
11:59 AM: BAILIFF CONFISCATES NUNCHUCKS … deadly ninja fighting sticks … chaos in the courtroom … Code Pink whips out throwing stars, goes buck-wild …
12:05 PM: A new line of questioning about judicial terms from Senator Wavdljkrh: “What’s the difference between a metaphor and a simile? I have a friend who wants to know.” Sotomayor: “A metaphor is the same as a simile. Anyone who bothers to make a distinction is an idiot…” MORE CHAOS … Code Pink is screaming metaphors at the top of their lungs …
12:06 PM: Judge Grassley: “Order in the court! Order in the court!” … Looks around for his little wooden hammer (you know, that thing they knock against the desk to make everyone be quiet)… “Where’s my little wooden hammer?” … Someone says something about the 5th Amendment: “I cannot tell a lie, ask someone else…”
12:07 PM: Little wooden hammer has been found. BANG BANG BANG BANG, he’s going crazy with it …
12:10 PM: LUNCH BREAK. They ran out of pastries. I eat the rest of my butter.
12:20 PM: “As a general proposition, if the amendment is incorporated, can we get a legal ruling that says I’m the best senator?” — asked by Senator Kwepoihga. One of the cameramen rolls his eyes almost imperceptibly … but I notice … nothing escapes my live-blogging …
12:46 PM: My favorite senator, Senator Graham (Cracker, LOL), makes a great point about the Second Amendment: “America unlike a lot of other countries, has a unique relationship with the Second Amendment” (paraphrasing) … No shit, you dingbat, it’s our amendment … why would Luxembourg give a shit about the second amendment … they have their own amendments … OK, now I’m actually live-blogging … something about one of the 9/11 guys … couldn’t follow it … now he’s talking about civilian law and criminal law … “Can we hold them without trial?” (paraphrasing) … blah blah courts and laws and whatnot … Geneva convention … civilian courts … “that’s not the law. If we have a pilot in the hands of the enemy…” What happens if you don’t wear a uniform when you attack us … do they get a better deal than regular soldiers … because of the law … enemies … “passage of time” … Sotomayor is talking now … saying something about laws …