SHIRTS: I prefer the classic, British-style dress shirt. Five buttons on each cuff, two cuffs per sleeve. Side vents below each armpit stitch, herringbone stitch included on the outside seams. Thread count of 1,250 per parts per million using the finest twines and strings. Twenty seams per thread. Color? Lavender, beige, and smuffle (if you don’t know about this color, don’t worry — it’s only available for the most exclusive fashion people, like me). My preferred brand is JOSPEH FERRAGAMO STUDIO FOR MEN A LA ITALIA PRIMO VERIZIONE, which is sold at Louis Vuitton boutiques and the post office. $2,000 per shirt? Put me down for ten shirts and call me in the morning.