Dude they’re letting me drink a glass of wine WHILE I WORK THE CASH REGISTER … aka “COME GET YOUR FREE MONEY” … just kidding, I’m a total pro on the ol’ “Cash-Reg” in fact I’m known in certain circles as “Cash-money Reggie,” because that kinda sounds like “Cash Register,” the machine I’m working while I drink this nice Italian red wine.

Just overheard a conversation about food. One of our customers has chard in the fridge. “With great power comes great responsibility.”

Oh man it got busy there for a sec … didn’t even have time to talk to you on my liveblog. Now I’ve finally got a spare moment to say HELLO and GET YOUR ASS IN HERE AND BUY SOME OF THIS FINE WINE I’M SELLING

“And that’s the news, folks.”

DRINK THAT WINE

Just sold some wine.

The Bangles came on the wine shop’s radio — “Eternal Flame” — and I sang along for a few seconds.

Then I sold 7 bottles of wine in like one minute (not kidding).

“It’s amazing, the things they can do with wine.”

Gamay is one of the best kind of wines. It’s a red wine. They’re pouring a nice Gamay this evening. It came all the way from France to make you happy. I like Gamays. It’s light, almost like white wine, but it’s red. Amazing how that wine-stuff works.

On the way over to the shop, I was listening to “Why” by Jadakiss. He asks a lot of questions in that song!

Guess where I am? Here’s a hint: “Tannins.”

Oh snap they just changed the music in the store to a new Pandora station, and guess what song it is? A classic: “Closer I Am To Fine” (or, “Closer! I Am Too Fine”) by the Gilmore Girls.

LET’S DO THIS — YOU LOVE WINE I LOVE WINE — COME ON IN LET’S MAKE MAGIC
 

This is from 2005:

I figured, the New Yorker likes funny cartoons about bums and homeless people; I like punk rockers; everybody likes Merlot … therefore, this cartoon will satisfy everyone and I will become a famous New Yorker cartoonist.

Why did I abandon this project?

Here’s another treasure I stumbled upon while taking a stroll through my computer’s hard drive. At some point I wanted to make a web site called “Bloody Yet Whimsical Cartoons About Punks”:

I figured if I made enough masterpieces like this one, eventually the New Yorker would publish me.

By the way, should I try to get hired as a professional giraffe-drawer? Because I truly drew the shit out of that giraffe. Can you believe I didn’t even use a live model??? I did it from memory (I have a photographic memory).