Sometimes, during a year like 2015, it can be hard to remember to keep your sense of humor. With so much unhappiness in the world, we often forget to slow down and smell the roses — or should I say, laugh at the roses? Because when God was handing out noses, you thought He said “roses” and asked for a big red one, and that’s why your nose is so fat and ugly, you stupid ding-dong! (An example of humor making a tough situation a little easier.)
Americans love to laugh at themselves; that’s one of the things that makes us different. And 2015 was no different. So put on your party hat, hitch up your laughing pants, and laugh along to the BEST JOKES OF 2015:
10. What did Bernie Sanders say when his home burned down? “Feel the bern!” (But he pronounced ‘bern’ like ‘barn’ because his home is a barn because he’s an old goat and he eats straw and tin cans all day, “Nom nom ooh this old rusty can is delicious” — Bernie Sanders restaurant review.)
9. I wouldn’t exactly say I’m afraid of Syrian refugees, but when I dressed up as the Joker (from Batman) for Halloween, I said, “WHY SO SYRIA’S?” as my catchphrase (pronounced like “Why so serious”).
8. So, did you hear that Kanye West and Kim Kirkdashian had a new baby? That’s right, and they give him the perfect name: ‘LITTLE EGOMANIAC (America, when did we lose our way?)’. “Wait — that’s all the same name?” Yes it is! I told you we live in interesting times …
7. Why didn’t Donald Trump participate in the Paris Climate Accord? Because his mouth is full of hot air, which is now illegal in France!
6. I found someone who liked the second season of True Detective so much, they named their son after it: His name is Ivan the TERRIBLE
5. Call me old fashioned, but I prefer GIRLS GONE WILD to P.C. CULTURE GONE WILD!
4. (TIE) What’s the difference between the economy and the election? “One is IN the toilet, and the other is broadcast on a TOILET” / “Knock, knock!” “Who’s there?” “Benghazi.” “Benghazi who?” “Ben Ghazi, and speak up if you please, I’m hard of HEARINGS”
3. There’s a new movie about a guy trapped on Mars all by himself. It’s called PRESIDENT OBAMA’S APPROVAL RATINGS
2. Jeb Bush put an exclamation point on his campaign logo. Maybe he should’ve chosen a question mark instead!
1. Did you hear about the group of rebels in outer space wearing funny clothes and fighting an evil empire with laser swords? It’s called MSNBC and FOX NEWS!